I guarantee you right now, even after being married for over 14 years - If my husband were to do something like that - he would soon be a single man! This guy is just setting you up for something worse down the line if he hasn't already!...and lied about it. He has already proved himself a liar, why would you trust him now? You don't have a clue what else he has done. I guarantee it. and it would be a very immature woman that would believe the line of crap he is putting out - or even take him back afterwords. You've heard the old saying...once a cheater, always a cheater! The fact is, that you have let him get away with it to this point, and so he has no reason NOT to. Do you see what I mean? The fact that he is licking other women's breasts in a public place shows nothing but contempt and disrespect for you. He is making a fool out of you in front of his friends - and anyone else who happens to be in the bar that knows you at the time. You are the only one who can put a stop to this. How would he feel if YOU were licking the whip cream off of a man...and not from his nipples??? I'm sorry dear...it just wouldn't happen. And, I don't know that I could ever trust him again, even if he DiD say he was going to stop! A man like that has no morals or conscious, and I guarantee you that it would only be a matter of time before he was sneaking out again. Stand up for yourself dear...NO ONE else is going to, and if you allow this treatment now, then expect worse soon! He's got everyone laughing at how vulnerable you are! get your pride back in tact, flip this guy a quarter, and tell him to go buy him one of his "shot" girls! Then find someone else that knows the meaning of respect!
good luck to you, you are in my prayers!!!!!
Do you care? - and, how long have you been with him?
This seems quite bold on his part. There are all different types of relationships and it appears by his actions that he wants a casual relationship, meaning being with you but free to be with others - or it may go deeper.
From what you have written, this is not acceptable to you and may be hurting you - yet you indicate "So..I could go out and have some "fun" of my own".....Certainly, if you point the finger at him saying perhaps that he may be cheating, or acting in a loose manner --here is what confuses me -- how does two wrongs make a right? What would it prove?
Advice? - You may wish to ask yourself if you do care for him. The fact is though that you can't make anyone change and if this is the way he is, what are you going to do - force him to do otherwise? How well with that go over? One doesn't need to have a leash around their neck. In a relationship, in order for it to be real and meaningful, one needs to accept their mate - including any so-called "flaws" they may have. This may in fact be his way - not ready to settle down. Knowingly, people come in and out of our lives for many reasons. What purpose does he serve in your life? Why are the two of you really together?
If you do care and you do want to be with him, it would help to tell him straight out that this is unacceptable to you - and if he cares and wants to be with you as well, then he should learn to curb this impulse of his and show some respect.
I am far from being in the position to tell you exactly what you must and/or should do about your boyfriend. Certainly, anyone over the age of 18 is considered an adult and allowed to make their own choices in life. Question: Do you want your boyfriend to be subservient to you because you have different views and lifestyle - why should he change for you? Out of care and respect and wanting to be in a relationship with you would be a good reason to change - but not to be subservient. However, care and respect must be within and about him first, in order for you to reap any benefits.
You have a difficult decision to make - but it must be on your terms and no one else's - since you are the one who will have to live with it. Note also, that some guys like to have a wild time, just to get it out of their system - and they really are sincere individuals - who care deeply, love, plan on one day having a wife and children, owning a house with a white picket fence....it takes all kinds.
Personally, I believe in following one's own heart and soul - listen to your own intuition - you are the one who really knows him...but certainly it would help to take a stand and truly express your feelings - keeping it inside will only build resentment.
My very best to you and your boyfriend - and I am hoping that all turns out to your satisfaction. Enjoy your trip to the Bahamas! I believe you will go!
Peace, Love & Happiness,
The Mystic Wave