The truth is "love" is not easy - if it was, everyone would be in it. You make an important statement here though, you indicate that you have to stop and think if you really love him - and your response is "I think I do"...this, right here, is telling you something. However, people come in and out of our lives for many reasons - in one such instance for you concerning your boyfriend, you have been gifted a child by him...this is a blessing.
We do not live in a "perfect" world - with "perfect" people doing all the "right" things every single second of each and every day - it takes all kinds - and men, even though they become fathers, do not always behave in an adult/responsible manner....but, this certainly applies to women as well.
Know that just like some mothers that may suffer changes to their body during and after birth, including psychological changes, so do fathers in their own way - Certainly you have heard of men having pains for their pregnant wives - and this can linger for some months after birth - I am not making any kind of excuses for your boyfriend - but, fact is that some men do not take on the role of a father immediately - and some men are not ready for a full commitment with their mate/spouse. Certain men can go a little wild .........Is it appropriate? Well, not in society's eyes...but, again...NO ONE IS PERFECT! We all have our moments.....but, there is such a thing as a fine line...
Thus, with all relationships, it takes communication, sharing points of views, finding out if the one we are with, want to be with, happens to be truly compatible with our own thinking, feeling, morals, beliefs,well-being, lifestyle.
Of my experience, personal and professional, following one's own heart and soul is where the truth is - for no one is in the relationship but the two people in question - no one can live another's life. But, I will say that if it begins to hurt, then there's a problem - and with the fact that you, personally, have a child involved, it's important to stop and take notice - for it's so important to provide a happy, loving and safe environment for you and your baby. With you not being to sure if you are in love with your baby's father, as time goes by, being in the company of your boyfriend, with any problems that may arise, your baby will grow up seeing and feeling this about the two of you, especially since you state that you "hate" his habits and the way he treats you. Not a good way to live - and certainly not a good scene for a child - it's not emotionally, physically or spiritually healthy for you or for your baby.
I suggest that you try to talk to your boyfriend, sharing with him everything and all that bothers you (if you feel your relationship is worth saving), especially sharing your feelings with him about him hanging out with other girls....but, the way I sense this for you (and/or for anyone with such problems) - having to stop and think about whether or not you have love in your heart for him can spell unhappiness and a short lived relationship.
Being happy and content for you and your baby needs to be a top priority.
Does your boyfriend really fill your heart with love and compassion, wholeness? Is your boyfriend the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? Are the two of you truly meant for each other? Will your boyfriend truly see that he has responsibilities as a father and that he will realize what is truly right to make a loving home for you and your baby? These are some questions to consider. Ultimately, the decision is yours - just know that you and your baby are entitled to love and happiness.
Should you have any further questions, please let me know.
I wish you the very best.
Peace, Love & Happiness,
The Mystic Wave