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Yosemite Sam
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Lying boyfriend

Customer Question

My boyfriend constantly lies about anything and everything and may also be a sexual addict. I love him very much. In every other way he is good hearted and loving but the lying breaks down my trust. What can I do?
Submitted: 11 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Yosemite Sam replied 11 years ago.


Sit down and talk to him, let your feelings be known.

You have to figure out if "every other way" means you can live with the trust/addict issues.

It sound like you are in an uncomfortable situation. If he is making you uncomfortable and he is unwilling to adapt. You may need to move on.

Love vs Trust.
In order to have one you must have the other.

Yosemite Sam, Clergy
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 42
Experience: Ordained Interfaith Minister, Wedding Services, Consulting, Counseling
Yosemite Sam and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Anne replied 11 years ago.
Sounds like he may be a compulsive liar.    Have you talked with him about this?  What causes you to think that he is addicted to sexual behavior?
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
Reply to Anne's Post: I think your right about the compulsive lying. I've confronted him with his lying and it's distructive nature but not the possibility of it being compulsive. As for the sexual addiction, When I first met him he was running around with a known sexual addict and was engaging in some of his activities. He was even busted for solisitation in this mans company. When we started dating I insisted he end his relationship with this person, which he did.
A few months later I found out that he had been involved in a sexual internet dating service. When I read his profile I was shocked. I later went thru his wallet and found the e-address of his favorites. He said and I found that he had done this a few months before he met me. I decided to let it go. We have watched porn together on occasion. I think it's ok in moderation. Periodically I've asked him about veiwing porn at work and he always says that he only does this with me. I found out last night he had been veiwing a porn tape when I wasn't home. That really didn't bother me at the time, it was the lying about it that got me but maybe it's a bigger problem. Help!
Expert:  Anne replied 11 years ago.
It is obvious to me that there is a definate problem.   This is titled Sexual Deviant Behavior.   This is out of the circle of normal behavior and it will only get worse as time goes on.  Someone who is addicted to pornographic material has needs that graduate to greater needs for gratification, in time.  The lying is an indication that he knows this is an addiction and he knows that he can not control this behavior. He needs to seek professional help and through counseling he will learn to modify his behavioral pattern.

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