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Ask Steve -- a.k.a. Oreport Your Own Ques...

Steve -- a.k.a. Oreport
Steve -- a.k.a. Oreport, Master's Degree Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1079
Experience:  I tell you what I believe you need to hear (not what you may wish to hear) regarding relationships.
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i need help with marriage

Customer Question

my husbandis analcoholi he been un faithfull as well as not being committed to ou marriage. iput him out becuse i couldnot take his drinking and staying out all night and lieing to me about what he doing. at this point icannot trust him . telling me he loves me don't mean anything. is this thru tdjakes ministries.     
Submitted: 11 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  nursehope replied 11 years ago.
 It sounds like you did the right thing.  You have to focus on what is right for and not let this man bring you down.  Find an Alanon meeting in your area.  These are meetings who are involved with alcoholics in some way.  I believe they can help to support your decision and teach you how to deal with this as well as understand how you got involved with this type of man in the first place.  It took alot of courage to do what you did.  You are an inspiration to many.  Nurse Hope
Expert:  Anne replied 11 years ago.
 Have you ever asked your husband if he would agree to go with you to marriage counseling.Directory of Alanon Websites and Meeting Lists  If He refuses,   here is a site that may help you.  If you have any more questions, we are here for you.
Expert:  The Mystic Wave replied 11 years ago.

Greetings:


I'm sorry for your situation. My prayers and thoughts are with you.


Here is the website link to T.D. Jakes Ministry:


The Potter's Touch - T.D. Jakes Ministries


The Potter's House (further info on T.D.Jake)


To send him mail, please click on the link below:


Nexo Service Page


Church Location & telephone number:


The Potter's House
6777 W. Kiest Blvd
Dallas, Texas 75236
(214)(NNN) NNN-NNNN


Please take care.


Bright Blessings.


Peace, Love & Happiness,


The Mystic Wave


 




Expert:  Michele Sayre replied 11 years ago.
Good for you!

It isn't easy for a person to decide to change her life, especially when the people we love don't value or appreciate everything we do for them.

I'm glad you decided to make your health and well-being a priority. At the end of the day, sometimes the only beings we can truly count on in this world are ourselves and God.

That being said, I think you should definitely make counseling a priority on your list (whether that means going to a professional counselor or therapist or talking with a clergy person who has some counseling experience, especially in the area of alcoholic addiction and divorce.)

Sometimes it helps to have another person take stock of your life for you because he/she is not caught up in all the pain and drama like you have been, and he/she will be able to steer you through the wreckage you now find yourself stuck in.

To help you on your journey to get your life back, why don't you think about grabbing a pad of paper and a pen and write down all the goals that you used to have for your life before you married your husband and then write down the kinds of goals that you'd like to concentrate on for the future. Having these things written down in black and white helps you to focus on the positive things that you want to do with your life instead of sitting home and thinking about the negatives.

You've already proven that you're a strong woman by standing up to your husband and throwing him out of the house--your way of letting him know that you're not going to take his unacceptable behavior anymore.

I commend you and sincerely XXXXX XXXXX the rest of your life turns out better than it has been recently (as I'm sure it will).

I ran across a quote several months ago that I thought was a perfect description of my life (and hopefully you'll feel the same way about yours), and I thought that I'd share it with you.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." --Mother Teresa

Good luck with your life. May it know only clear skies from now on!

Mic Sayre
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
Reply to Anne's Post: he has been to many only because of dui'but he still loves to drink; and he's so mean when he drinks.because of so many affairs right now ijust don't believe nothing he says. he came by yester day to get his mail'hesid i love you' can i come back to visit but he didn' come back, i think he is seeing someone else,but why lie to me.Right now i just don't trust him,and iam not sure i evev want to,cause trust in him is gone iam not even sure ican love him. he is a good person if he would just quit drinking,
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
i thank you very much ,but ihave tried allyou said . ithink because there is so much involved i am just not sure what to do thank you so verry much.
Expert:  Anne replied 11 years ago.
 Hello,  I understand the position that you are in.   You said that there is so much involved that you don't know what to do. What do you mean by "so much involved".    It sounds as though he is not about to quit drinking,  and sad as it sounds, you might be better off to try and start your own life.  That is a big step to take, but in the long run, you will be better for it.  You are doing yourself an injustice by staying with someone who is not concerned with your needs, or feelings.  I am sure that in time you will find someone who treats you a lot better.  Maybe if you took the final step to dissolve the marriage,  he might decide to stop drinking and running around.  But only you can decide if you would want him back even then.  I hope that I helped you, even if a little bit.  Take care and be strong.
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
I should never have married him but i thought i could help him change. and he did' but ilater found out he was adrug addict as well as a heavy drinker. he kept going back to his x girlfriend and i did't no for along time. so now even if he's not i think he is. he also has abone desease and needs surgery bad. he has changed some and thou i see some change i don't noif he's telling methe truth.Just like yesterday he came by got his mail and ask if he could come back ' i did not think that was good, then he pulled out a watch and said i love you and iam trying to change and i trust that God will help me, but i felt like he took the watch from her cause it was not in anything, he left and ihave not heard from him allday, he just ask me not to giv up on him yet'
Expert:  Anne replied 11 years ago.
 Hello,   I believe that the only way that he will change is if he seeks professional help.  That is something that  only he can do and no one can make him do it.   If you feel better by being a support system to him while he goes through all the steps to recover from drugs and alchohol, then suggest to him that you will give him emotional support if he takes those steps.   Do you feel as though you would want to stand by him as he tries to recover?  I am not sure if he is playing you or not.   Only you can decide that.   However,  continue to build your life without him. It will take a lot of strength on your part to move on, but staying in limbo in a situation like this is getting you no where.  You have the right to a nice life.   If he chooses to stay on the drug and alchohol road,   that is his choice and you should not feel guilty if you decide to end the relationship.   Are there any children involved?
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
no we have no children 'he has1or 2 from his past ,i have 3 and a daughter that was murderd in 1989 and i raised her son,who is now in college ,i am 55 my x is 47. when imet him he said he did not have any children, he just told me last march. he lost his mother in 1993 and he and his brothers do not get along ,they took every thing their mother left for themselves, even the houses and have since lost them. so now he has no one. and i do not think i can take anymoor, so continue to run my daycare my health is not the best, XXXXX XXXXX belive god has something in store for me better than this. right now i am barley making ends meet, ican not even get my van taged,my utiliteies are all behind , because i am not making enough to pay them. iPray that God will send a bllessing soon or i am going to lose everything i have.
Expert:  Steve -- a.k.a. Oreport replied 11 years ago.


You feel helpless and overwhelmed... yet you feel guilty because your
ex 'has no one'.  He did that to himself by his choices and he
continues to make destructive choices.  He has continually sucked
you into his destructive whirlpool and even now that he is circling the
drain -- you cannot turn away from him to break for the shore and save
yourself.



Enough with the hand-wringing and being a victim already -- even your
dying for his man will not help -- let alone change -- him. 



You have an obligation to your grandson, your children -- and most of all to yourself -- to take charge of your own life.



Get to your library, your local senior center, your church, or
somewhere (check community services in the front of your phonebook) and
get some help with utilities, your health, counseling, alanon, and/or
whatever else you need to cut the ties to your toxic past and move on
-- including an actual geographical relocation if necessary.



God can and will help you but His help is like a ship's rudder -- you
will only benefit from his grace and guidance if you get moving.



Good Luck!



Steve




 
 












Expert:  Larry Johnson replied 11 years ago.
Hi
Your problem is not isolated, but it is very difficult to deal with. YOu are definitely a victim, but so is he. He is a victim of previously circumstances and you probably knew about some of these in the beginning of the relationship. Now, since you loved this man (I know you have Godly love for him), but I mean you are romantically involved with him, your difficulty is much higher becaue of the mixed feelings of being abused and yet wanting to help him as well as your self. As the Word says, you must forgive him and give him another chance at getting this fixed. He needs deliverance which is a spiritual issue and then he will need determination and some help to kick the habit in his mind and flesh. This is possible and if you do not help him, who will? At the same time, you do not deserve anymore abuse and certainly should not anticipate taking any more, but as you pray for this man and have faith in God's mighty hand, he will begin to change. I will join my faith with you as the Word says for two to agree and it will be done. There is a lot of hope for both of you and you already know you have to use real agape love to accomplish your desires. I know you want the best for him, but you also deserve the best God has for you. All these good things are out there in the future if you can move in faith and forgive, love, and help this man one more time.
I am praying for you.
Pastor
Expert:  Andy replied 11 years ago.

I hope you realize that you can longer rely on this person for your happiness. You have allowed yourself to be a victim over time but it is now time to take care of you (even before the children). You are not going to be good to anyone, including them, if you don't take matters into your own control.


Alcohol is a terrible disease. I have had it all my life. Even AA didn't help in my case because I couldn't stand being surrounded by people who have hit rock bottom. It was depressing. That was over 20 years ago. The only way I was able to quit was when my wife asked me to leave and not come back until I was serious about quiting.


I never left but what I did do is decide that I wasn't going to let alcohol ruin my life and drag those who loved me with it. My wife was not gonna take it. Her stern ultimatum was all I needed. I threw out all my beer (a major achievement) but one can in the refrigerator. That can sat in the fridge for over a year before I threw it out. Everyday I looked at it and reminded myself that just opening that beer was the end of my life as I knew it.


What I am trying to say is that I quit because I wanted to, not because of my wife's threat. Your husband is apparently not interested in controlling his illness. If he really loved you and you gave him an ultimatum, maybe he would seek help and quit. I doubt that he will go to counseling because alcoholics deny they have a problem to begin with. I think you need to take stock in yourself and where you are in life and make a real decision as to where you want to go.


You probably have low self-esteem because alcoholics are very manipulative and controlling. They deny they have a problem and will make you feel like you're stupid or dumb. You can go to an al-anon meeting others who are in the same situation as you. You will feel very relieved to know that you are not alone and that it is not you who has a problem. They will help you and help you through your hard times.


Your husband lies and cheats and you can't trust him according to your own admission so why are you letting him get away with it? His disease has taken over his (and your) lives and there is nothing you can do unless he wants to change. Remember, you can't change him, only he can do that. In the meantime, start making a life for yourself, get some couseling (you can get it free if you are of limited income in many communities). GO FOR IT GIRL!

Expert:  The Mystic Wave replied 11 years ago.
Greetings:

I don't believe your husband is playing you - I believe that his problem is his physical condition. However, you must do what you feel is right for you.


Being involved with someone who is under the influence of drugs and alcohol is naturally an emotional roller-coaster ride, mostly on a daily basis - but, spiritually speaking, perhaps you are meant to be together for lessons to be learned - and/or that you came into this life to be his protector - one can only know for certain by what they feel from within. As well, one can only know how much they can tolerate. Some people will not stand for anything - as soon as they find out about a matter, they quickly walk away. Others can go to the extreme and say that no matter what another one has done to them, they will stand by their partner's side - which is one's own prerogative and free will - a right given to each and every single human being on the planet.


Of my own belief/opinion and experience, one has a "general" idea of what they are getting involved in and the person they are getting involved with concerning any type of a relationship - and especially marriage, and they "generally" know the true character of the individual - thus, they have the desire to be with the other - Why? Because something was attractive/appealing in the beginning and/or for a certain period of time - - Was it due to caring? Was it a physical attraction? Was it emotionally fulfilling? Was it love?......................and now?- What could possibly have happened along the way?


Understand that the use of alcohol and drugs does not define the true character of a human being - (that is merely a mask- and, if the sober person is able to put all things aside - not taking things personal - one can then look beyond the surface to see the truth). Should the one who is addicted be treated like they are worthless? Personally, I don't believe that should be so - I do feel that everyone is deserved -- and no one has to be played, nor one has to be used by someone under the influence - as long as one does not allow for it to happen.


As I will admit, I am psychic/clairvoyant/ empathic/spiritualist - have great personal insight which was gifted to me by "God" for whom I strongly believe in - (do not mistake me for a "gypsy fortune teller").....I could tell you all kinds of things right now - however, I don't have that right -  and I strongly believe that no one can tell anyone what to do - everyone must walk their own path - one must follow what they believe is "right" for them (unless we're talking about doing something that goes against the laws that govern our society).-- but one can help guide - yet, not guide to suit self - but guide to suit the individual for whom they are attempting to help.


The answers you seek come from within - it comes from without - it comes from above, it comes from hopes, prayers and faith - it comes from your heart and soul!


The fact is, your husband is ill - and I'm not talking about his addiction - I'm talking about the fact that he is suffering from a bone disease. In our day and age, it would seem that more people would understand that not everything is as it appears to be. Many people can develop illnesses and react to same - yet go undiagnosed for years and years - in the meantime, the ill person pacifies their condition (for which they are only made privy to - by their own body talking to them, more so subconsciously) by resorting to alcohol, drugs, gambling, caffeine, nicotine - and any other such vice that's naturally judged, labeled unacceptable by our societies' standards - although this doesn't make it all "peaches and cream" for the partner of the "ill" person. How much can and will be tolerated - well, that's up to the individuals involved.


I also believe in the sanctity of marriage - two people take vows "in sickness and in health" "for better or for worse" - yet - if one is suffering from abuse - that's a different story - certainly, any kind of abuse is bad - and should not be tolerated - but, the situation could be remedied if one so desires to seek counseling or other such assistance - naturally though, the decision of ending a marriage depends upon the morals and beliefs of the individuals involved.


Should you truly feel that you can no longer be with your husband, I believe that you should take the necessary steps to change the situation at your earliest convenience so that you no longer suffer - Life is certainly not meant for suffering, it's meant for living - and time passes by ever so quickly.


I wish you the very best - and my thoughts and prayers are with you.


Bright Blessings.
Peace, Love & Happiness,

The Mystic Wave






Expert:  Michele Sayre replied 11 years ago.
Dear Ballen47,

Stick to your guns on the ex. Don't let him make you feel guilty. You made the right decision booting him out. I take it from the above information that you have posted, that what you really need right now is help with your financial situation. I've listed several agencies and websites located in the Kansas area, which might be able to provide you with some financial relief--even if it's a little bit, then I'm sure that it will help.

You didn't really mention what kind of utilities that you needed help with, but there is a thing called HeatShare in Kansas that is sponsored by the Salvation Army. It's focuses on paying the heating bill for low-income families (especially those who have encountered an unexpected financial difficulty) and the elderly. Why don't you check out the website and see if they can help you: http://www.angelfire.com/ks2/hshare/about.html

If you need help on your phone bill, you might be eligible to participate in the Kansas Lifeline Program: http://www.kcc.state.ks.us/pi/lifeline.htm

The following website has LOTS of possible help for you: http://www.kcc.state.ks.us/pi/index.htm
--Click onto "Cold Weather Rule"
--Click onto "Low Income Assistance for Telephone Service"
--Click onto "Housing and Energy Related Assistance Programs"--there are a lot listed here.

If you truly need help with your utilities, perhaps you could check out this Modest Needs website in which people post the things that they need help with and wait for someone to help them out financially: http://www.modestneeds.org/ledger/

I don't know if this site can help you with your daycare woes or not, but you could try contacting the First Step Fund and see if they can provide you with some kind help: http://www.bloch.umkc.edu/4747troost/delivery/firstStepFund.asp

On the following website you will find numbers of places that can help you. I tried to pick out the ones who would work, but you might want to take a look at the list yourself: http://www.mhsanctuary.com/mh/toll.htm

ALCOHOL

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. P.O. Box 862 Midtown Station New York, NY(NNN) NNN-NNNNhttp://solar.rtd.utk.edu/~al-anon/

Alcohol/Drug Help Line(NNN) NNN-NNNN

Center for Substance Abuse Treatment , National Treatment Hotline aids consumers in linking to treatment within their communities. 1-800-662-HELP.

National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information (NNN) NNN-NNNNwebsite http://www.health.org



HEALTH

American Health Assistance Foundation (Rockville MD)(NNN) NNN-NNNN

Emotional Distress (IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW ARE IN EMOTIONAL DISTRESS CALL 1-800-LIFENET)

Mental Health Infosource(NNN) NNN-NNNN

National Domestic Violence Hotline (NNN) NNN-NNNNInformation and referrals
for victims of domestic violence.
National Institute of Mental Health Panic Disorder Helpline 800-64-PANIC

National Foundation for Depressive Illness (NNN) NNN-NNNN Referrals to doctors and depression support groups, disseminates literature, publishes quarterly newsletter, and runs outreach program for adolescents and senior citizens. Recorded message has information on the signs of depression and manic-depression.

National Mental Health Association *(NNN) NNN-NNNN(Mon-Fri, 9-5 ET) * Provides free information on over 200 mental health topics including manic-depression, bereavement, post-traumatic stress disorder, and warning signs of mental illness. Referrals to mental health providers, distributes free national directory of local mental health associations, and offers low-cost materials. Advocates to remove stigma of mental illness. Website: http://www.nmha.org E-mail:[email protected]

National Mental Health Services Knowledge Exchange Network 800-789-CMHS

Therapist Network 800-THERAPIST FAX:(NNN) NNN-NNNNMakes referrals to local mental health associations, mental health professionals, and other resources.

1 800 Therapist (Help in Finding a Therapist)



DIVORCE (in case you decide to get one)

Attorney Referral Network (NNN) NNN-NNNN(24 hrs)


For your sake, I truly hope that one of the above listed sites can help you out. Good luck to you. Try to keep the faith--after all, things can only get better at this point.

Mic Sayre

Customer: replied 11 years ago.
thank you so much ,I divorced him in may before i bought my house.and as far as help around here is hard to get,because so many people are out of work. I did get some help from liep , right now my biggest problem is getting my van payment caught up and get tags on it so i can hve some transportation,plus i need to send money to my grandson some money until he gets his grant money.It is really hard right now ,and i have no family here at all, so i have no one but god to see me thru.
Expert:  Andy replied 11 years ago.
I would get my transportation situation in order before sending money to your grandson. He must be working. Even if he has to flip burgers at the local burger joint.
Expert:  Nick Sparks replied 11 years ago.
The problem with alcohol addiction is that the lies required
to deny the problem end up bleeding into all parts of life
and all relationships until everything is distorted by
deception.

You can consider lying to be the central feature of many
addictions.

Confronting the lies and the damage done is
underestimated in difficulty. Many people who sober up
begin to realize what horrors they have inflicted on
themselves and others, and return to the addiction in
despair.

Alcoholics Anonymous is the most effective program for
coming to terms with the truth, buyt the drinker has to
want to stop.

Most alcoholics do not stop and do not recover, so the
odds are against you. At AA they say only about 3% recover.

My personal experience is that ultimatums and demands to
stop and threats to leave don't do much good.

Ultimately, to protect yourself, you must leave. Perhaps it
will shock them into seeking trreatment, but don't count on
it.

If you are still undecided, attend some Al-Anon meetings,
for the friends and relatives of alcoholics. You can find
much wisdom there, and support.

If you want to discuss this more, we can.

Remember that you have yourself to see you through. You
are stronger than you know, and can survive this and come
out stronger and wiser and happier. You won't be the first.

Nick
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
i have osteo arthritus in my knees, it, hard to get out alot. right now i just want to help my grandson get thru college ,he got a full ride to coffyvelle Ks.Heis worried abount me and i do not want him to.I worry about him not having enough food to get by,and other little items he needs cause right now i am barley making it,I never knew my father he and my mother did not stay together. She gave me up for adoption at the age of 2. so there is no one but me.
Expert:  Anne replied 11 years ago.
 Hello,   You have traveled a long and hard road.  You are not alone because God is with you in each step that you take. He will never leave you and when you pray for guidance and strength, He will answer you, yet in His own time and not ours.  You seem to have taken a lot of steps to improve your situation and God has given you the strength to accomplish that.  Faith is the most important thing for all of us, and as we are given trials and tribulations,  our faith in God will get us through.  God never said that it would be easy.  It is through our hard times that we grow closer to Him.   He never gives us more than we can handle.  We all question Him when the hard times hit us,  but how else are we to learn about Him unless He pulls us toward him, through pain and suffering.   God will see you through,  you should be proud of yourself for all that you have done, including raising your grandson.   Let me say that I am very sorry to hear of the horrible circumstances surrounding your daughters death.  May the Grace of God continue to guide you and keep you for the rest of your life.   Go to.... WWW.Intouch.org.    Dr. Charles Stanley is a wonderful Minister.
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
Yes I am ,because my first marriage ended in divorce becaue of the beatins,skull fracture brooken arms, so i have been thu my share. And right now i almost want to give up but i cannot be cause of my grandson jeremy. he has had to indure a lot but he stayed inthere.I talked to him last nite and he,s doing alright he needs some toothpast money to wash his cloths etc; I will make it I have to ,I just bought my house in June and i don't want to lose it. please any mistakes i just learn to use the computer before jeremy left for college.
Expert:  Anne replied 11 years ago.
  You are doing a great job on the computor !    Never give up on life.  It is a series of learning processes and the more we learn the better we become and the stronger we get.   We grow closer to God. Our rewards do not lie here on earth, but in our eteranl life in Heaven. Look back on all that you have already accomplished, then look ahead to better future.  Yes, your grandson has endured a lot, but he is working for a better future by going to college and reaching his goals. It is obvious by what you are writing that he loves you and needs you, as well as respects you.  You are not alone,  you have the Lord our God, your grandson and alll of us here.
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
Reply to Anne's Post: Thank you anne i guess i just needed some support .I tell you it has not been a easey road , and ihave never expected it be ,because at a young age i learned nothing in this world comes free. I can say,God has been good to me,I could not hve come this far without him.But right now i just need a blessing. Ido not tell all i do for people if i can help i do,andi have pure joy when i do.but now i need and there is no one.You no my step mother was very mean to me,then at the age of 15 i was raped and had ababy.Got married to aguy thought he was good he beat me till i could not see ,i was in that mess for 17 years.I left him at age of 36.When put a 12 gauge to my head i new ihad to leave, the ony that saved my lif e was the gun jamed i new then God was on my side.Soihave had arough,and hard life, but it tought me how to stand on my own.Right now as i said before is i wish i could get caught up enough to get my van taged and fixed that,abought 1,500.00 dollars it is a older van i wish i could afford a new one so i could go watch jeremy run his raceses. BUt understands that i may not make it.I still believe somthing good is going to happen for me.
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
Reply to nursehope's Post: After my daughter was found dead in manhatten ny in the fort tryon park i thought my life was just shattered.jeremy was only 2 years old. I had alight heart attack , the folling year 2 minnie strokes.I just recently went to my dr. my blood pressure was on the border of another stroke, so i on 2 medications for plus he found 2cists in my right breasts. so right now i could really use some good news in my life. but i WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MY GOD I NO HE WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE ABLESSING IS COMMING.
Expert:  Anne replied 11 years ago.
 We are here for you.   I will pray for you.  God will not ever leave you.  You are a brave and strong person.  Your letters have truely moved me, and I have learned a lot through talking with you.  Truely God works in strange ways, maybe by leading you to this site is God's way of showing you that you are not alone and people do care. Maybe this is part of the good news that God is beginning to show you.  Sometimes, when a person reaches out to others for help, in a round about way, they are guided through others, to reach their goal. What did the DR. recommend regarding the two cysts that he discovered?
Expert:  Andy replied 11 years ago.

ballen47, you said that your grandson runs races. How does he get there? Can't he pick you up on the way? It sounds like you have had everything possible happen to you from cancer to heart attacks to several mini-strokes, beatings, rapes, skull and other fractures, mean stepmother, alcoholic husband, a shotgun put to your head but you survived when he pulled the trigger because it jammed, had a baby at 15 and now you want $1,500 for a van.


What's wrong with this picture? You have allowed yourself to be a victim your whole life and now I hear desperation and depression. Yes you have had it really bad, worse than anybody I have ever known but isn't it time to do something about it?


You call on God and say he has been really good to you. I'm sure he has but God wants you to help yourself too. Excuse me for sounding rude but there many others in this forum that can help you through the compassionate side but me, I have been there too and I did not get out of it until I decided I've had had enough. I didn't get anywhere brooding over my situation and I say this at the risk of getting more scathing responses from other specialist.


Like one person posted earlier. Stop being a victim. Get off the computer and seek a proffesional therapist because you really need one at this point in your life. A hug for you.

Expert:  Sandy replied 11 years ago.
Dear ballen47, i do not know your real name, but ive been reading some of your letters. And life is never an easy road sometimes its easier for other an harder for you and me, but life is alway unexpected. I want you to know people do care about you even when you feel like you have no one there and no support theres always someone. And sometimes life really just plain sucks cause ive been there. But i will pray for you too. im writing this cause i want to help you. Now i have an idea and this may sound silly but give it a try write down everythign that bugging you or stressing you out on a long piece of paper and cross out everything you cannot control. Then tottaly forget about those cause there out of you grip. Then look at whats left and work on it. take one at a time and e-mail me on your progress!
Expert:  Steve -- a.k.a. Oreport replied 11 years ago.

Recounting your many battle scars (outside and inside ones) will not help
your current circumstances -- and continuing to stew about them will
only buy you a third stroke -- or worse.



I believe God does have Blessings in store for you but you will need to
seek most of them out -- very few will come knocking on your door.



As for your Grandson, if he can afford to 'run his races'  he can
afford to buy his own toothpaste and pay to wash his own clothes.



As for your house. pehaps you can rent a room to a -- carefully screened -- female to help with expenses.



Good Luck!



Steve 
 









Customer: replied 11 years ago.
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Customer: replied 11 years ago.
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