I suggest that you get a direct answer from him concerning what he wishes to do about your relationship. Certainly, there's no sense in wondering. He may have been a bit apprehensive about moving in together and used the telephone incident as an excuse, but that didn't help you. It is not necessary to prove anything to him.
You do have to follow your own heart but you don't have to let it get trampled on. I am hoping that all will work out for you.
Please take care.
Peace, Love & Happiness,
The Mystic Wave
Ask yourself this question-
Did he come back to you because he didn't find someone else?
Because he realized he had made a mistake?
Trust is the foundation to all relationships. If he don't trust you the math is easy.
If you don't commnad respect we (guys) have a tendancy not to give it.
Do keep in mind he came back practically begging. Don't think for a minute that you don't have any 'girl power' over him.
Playing games does work, at least sometimes. You come across as someone that has class. Don't change (game players usually have no class). Besides, making him sweat will only confirm what we already know (be confident).
Be yourself. Show high spirits and a positive attitude. Give him a little time to admit his mistakes. He cares about you, or wouldn't have become so upset over the prospect of losing you.
If he can't admit his mistake move on. Above all else, you deserve someone who trusts you.
On your question about what to do this weekend. Make your decision based on all your oppurtunities. Choose the one gives the best opportunity to have a good time.
Many of my friends are just like him. I call them territorial rednecks. They are not evil, but have issues. We all have flaws.
One more thing. You don't need permission from anyone to communicate with whomever you please. Don't hesitate to let him know this.
Thank you for providing more information.
Honestly........a real relationship is not about games - it's not about needing to "act" a certain way - it's not about "not being sure" - it's about being "real" and "honest" - and it helps to communicate, to share interests, to be friends - and being "in love" -
If you feel that he is worth it - if you feel that he is someone that you wish to have in your life - if you feel that you are able to rise above what he has done to you, to be willing to forgive and try to forget - if you have love in your heart and soul for him - then there's your answer - it's quite simple.
The mind plays tricks, hon - and it's most important to understand that not everything is as it seems to be! It's a given that humans do things according to the way that they think, feel and believe - and, most definitely, we all seem to have our own agenda. What I'm saying here is that, although he did what he did to you, if you dig way down, deep inside of where he's coming from, you may just see that it was nothing personal - it was about HIM - Certainly, though, I am not condoning his actions as it was unjust for you - but, don't get me wrong, for I'm not actually saying that he was being selfish -
It is very well possible that he has some hangups - but note that I cannot tell you for a fact that he does, at this time, for I'm merely providing you with my own "opinion" not my psychic insight - and certainly, I'm not him - but, take a look at his behavior, do you not think that perhaps he is insecure and/or possibly jealous? By what you have stated, with him believing you cheated - could it not also be that he said that to you for fear of being rejected by you - people do say unfounded things at times - and more than just a few times, in order to protect self from being hurt (it's a defense mechanism)....What's your impression of him? Do you believe he is someone who goes out of his way to hurt another - to hurt you? Would you really fall for someone who hurts others, let alone you? - Remember, no one is infallible.
Thus, the answer to your question truly lies within and without you - Within is from the heart and soul (how do you really feel about him?) -Without is what you are seeing and hearing (can you handle it? - Do you want to?) Next is to incorporate the two - which one outweighs the other? Once you make such deduction, you will know what to do.
As I stated above, the mind plays all kinds of tricks (for not everything is as it seems) - the only thing that is real is one's heart and soul. Also, note that love is not easy - it has many ups and downs and can cut like a knife - there's a saying- "if love was easy, everyone would be in it" - and you certainly know that is not the case.
Know that I feel for you - it was not right for what he said - and did to you - but, sometimes people need to look past self and look at the other in a more adult and enlightened way- What truly motivated him to say and do what he did? - What is really wrong with him, if anything? A little compassion for another doesn't hurt - Why take revenge and/or dump him - certainly humans aren't yesterday's garbage. Of course, we all have our tolerance level, we may all wish to be treated with respect, certainly we all deserve it - Thus, if one is wanting to have a relationship, then one may wish to consider handling matters wherein healing can take place (to resolve the issues).
Personally, I believe that everyone deserves a second chance, and more, but your situation is yours, not mine. Truly, it would help to find out what is going on with him - and be up front and honest with him, letting him know what he said and did to you was uncalled for - and how he has hurt you. If you do not wish for him to treat you so unjust (accusing you of cheating, or anything else) then you need to let him know. Whatever the outcome may be - you will certainly be led on the right path, the path for which you have followed your own heart and soul.
I hope this information has helped you. If I can help you further, please do not hesitate to let me know.
My very best to you - my prayers and thoughts are with you.
Peace, Love & Happiness,
I really don't know what else I can say to you that will make anymore difference to your life than the suggestions I posted above. I just reread all of the above posted suggestions (by other specialists, as well as my own), and frankly, you DIDN'T listen to ANY of us, so, no, I'm not surprised that you are in the boat that you are currently in now.
You, my dear, have been duped, and worse yet, you willingly let Shaun dupe you. You were so desperate to take him back that you took him back under HIS conditions and NOT your own! From what you've written above, you mentally bought into his world view of how a woman should cater to a man's every freakin' need and wish, and you did. You gave up your LIFE! You gave up your FRIENDS! And you gave up your independence! You're Shaun is controlling and mentally abusive because he has managed to effectively cut you off from anyone and anything that you ever loved or wanted to do. By willingly agreeing to all of his conditions, you have literally made yourself a PRISONER in this relationship. You're confined to house arrest and are only allowed out on work detail, and if that isn't bad enough, you're not even allowed very many visitors (or only the pre-approved kind like family). For God's sakes, there are hardened criminals in prison who get more, as well as better privileges than your boyfriend has given you!!
Please, please, please, wake up and get the hell out of this relationship for good! Walk, don't run to the exits! This guy is NEVER going to change, and if you don't want to spend a lifetime (years and years) of repeating the same last six months over and over again, my advice to you is to get the hell out while the getting is good.
Try rereading the above advice, and maybe LISTENING to it THIS time. Hopefully, you'll be ready to hear all the good advice that was offered the first time you posted.
P.S. Let me hazard a guess--you never did have that conversation with your boyfriend and discuss your past relationship together? The reason that I know you didn't is because you were too afraid to rock the boat. Well, honey, rock the damn thing before it overturns on you and drowns you. Good luck!