As I'm sure you know very well by now, once trust has been broken in a relationship, then it's really hard to get it back.
What I'm confused about, though, is your guy's reaction. It seems way too serious and extreme for him to overreact just because your old boyfriend text messaged you. To me, it seems like he reacted this way for the following reasons: 1) either he really is very insecure in your relationship, which means that you two need to spend some time really being honest with each other about where you both see your relationship going in the future and the things you both might need to do to help strengthen your relationship (maybe be more honest and open with each other, praise each other more, spend more quality time together, etc.), OR 2) maybe he's trying to find an excuse to either cool down or slow down things for a while because the relationship had heated up too quickly for his mind and emotions to process it.
Basically, you'll never know how or what he's feeling until you both sit down and really talk to each other. Tell him how you feel about him, how much you truly love him, and then ask him what he needs from you to feel secure in this relationship. Maybe it means that TOGETHER you both go and change your cell phone number or you write a letter to your old boyfriend (one in which he can read and know what's going on) telling him to stop trying to contact you. Frankly, he shouldn't be contacting you anyway if your old relationship with him is truly over. (It sounds more like your old boyfriend wants to cause problems with your new relationship--and is!)
Just remember, when making these concessions to your boyfriend, that it's not your job to give up everything. There comes a certain point where if you've done everything humanly possible to help him feel safe and secure in your relationship and yet he still has doubts and insecurities, then you might have decide if this relationship is really worth continuing.
I don't know your guy, but if he's constantly doubting you and you really haven't given him a reason to, then maybe he's a controller, especially if you're having to make all the concessions to stay together. If that is the case (and I'm not saying it is), then you need to decide if this is really what you want. If it is, then God bless. If it isn't, then just remember that there are other men out there who are more confident and secure and who are probably more emotionally ready to make you happy if you decide to give them a try.
Good luck! I hope things work out with your current beau.
I understood from your previous posting that you were obviously innocent of his groundless accusations.
If he won't let you talk to him, then there's not a lot that you can do about the situation except give him time to decide what he is willing to do or not do about your relationship. Maybe writing him a very sincere note, expressing to him exactly how you truly feel about him might be one way to try. Otherwise, you're just going to have to wait for him to come around.
You can prove to him how sincere you are by having him go and change your phone number together.
One thing I would address with him when you get the chance to is why the hell is he listening so much to his friends and less to you? Who is he in a relationship with--you or them?
At least if they are going to give advice, then maybe they had better provide him with the proof to back up their claims. If they can't, then they need to shut up and let you two get on with your lives.
My question to you is--why do you want to be with someone who doesn't respect your word or trust your integrity? Maybe it's time to think about moving on. There are a lot of men out there who are more secure and less likely to make you jump through the "hoops of hell" to prove that you are the decent person that you know yourself to be.
Just how important is this relationship to you? What I got from your last posting is that this guy has pretty much made up his mind about your relationship--it seems like he's putting you off because he doesn't know how (or is reluctant) to completely end this relationship for good.
He says he wants to see you, but he can't find the time to hook up with you. He says he needs time, and it sounds like he does.
At this point, there's nothing you can do about this situation but go on with your life. If that means going out and meeting other people (dates or just spending time with friends--new and old), then go do it. At least it will give you something to do besides obsessing on this impossible situation in which you now find yourself.
Who knows? Maybe all he does need is time to process everything and one day in the future you two might end up together. Also, maybe while you're out living your life (instead of sitting around waiting for him to make up his mind), you'll meet someone who is better suited for you, who will trust you more than this guy has because this potential new guy has enough confidence in himself and you to believe everything that you tell him. Everyone deserves to be trusted implicitly.
I know that all of this is hard to hear, but maybe it's what you need to hear to get on with your life. Good luck. Sincerely.
I suggest that you try to contact him one way or another and let him know the exact truth - and get a direct answer from him concerning what he wishes to do about your relationship. Certainly, there's no sense in wondering. He may have been a bit apprehensive about moving into together and used this telephone incident as an excuse, but that doesn't help you. You can wait for a certain period of time to see if he will come around, but that is time taken away from your life. If you did nothing wrong, let him know, straight to the point....it is not necessary to prove anything to him....just tell him how it is!...
You do have to follow your own heart but don't let it get trampled on. I am hoping that all will work out for you.
Wishing you the very best.
Peace, Love & Happiness,
The Mystic Wave
It just occurred to me that there is a very good way for you to provide undeniable proof to your boyfriend that you have NOT been cheating on him with your old boyfriend. Have you kept any of your cell phone records? If you haven't, I'm sure that you can go to the cell phone company and order back records (for a fee, I'm sure). You can show these bill statements to your boyfriend and prove two things: 1) that you did change your phone number because that information will show up on your bill statement (Just make sure you order several bills back until so that you have the bill with the old number on it, and the current bill with the new number on it.) AND 2) The bill statements show exactly who you have been calling on your cell phone. He can see for himself whether your old boyfriend's number is XXXXX there or not. [I will advice caution to you at this point. If you did at any point call your old boyfriend, then it will show up on these bills, and then you might not want to share these statements. Also, I'm not sure how text messaging shows up on a bill (whether it is recorded or not. I don't have it on my cell phone myself, but that is also something that you should look for on your bill before you think about sharing it with your boyfriend).
As for meeting the guy on Sunday, I'm glad that you have that chance to talk to him. If you're nervous about seeing him and afraid that you might forget the kinds of things that you would like to discuss with him, then take a piece of paper and write down all of the things that you'd like to discuss about your relationship together. This will help you remember and also help you focus your thoughts.
Another thing, if your boyfriend is so afraid of catching an STD, then why don't you propose to him that you guys cool the sexual side of your relationship down for a while and try some casual dating. This will give you both time to work on your trust issues and learn to connect with each other again emotionally, which wouldn't be a bad thing if you both hope to spend the rest of your lives together.
Also, you really need to decide for yourself how much more of this bullsh*t that you are really wanting to put up with, and I do mean bullsh*t. I'm sorry, honey, but if this guy had put me through the kind of hell that he has put you through, then I would have tossed him to the curbside long ago.
When it comes right down to it, you are a human being and with that status comes certain rights, one of which is the right to be considered innocent UNTIL proven guilty. If all he has is a text message and rumors to prove his side, then he doesn't have anything. In this day of e-mails and text messages, it doesn't take a lot of effort or thought for one person to contact another. That doesn't mean that the recipient wants the message. It just means that you receive it because that is the nature of the medium.
Well, that's all I can think of now to advise you. I hope it helps, and if this relationship is really want you want and worth continuing for you, then I truly wish you luck in your endeavors!
He is being very foolish. He refuses to acknowledge your truth. I would tell him that it is too bad that he feels that way about you and let him know, to set the record straight, in your own heart and mind, that you did not cheat. Tell him that it is his loss that he doesn't believe you - and wish him a very happy life and hope that he finds what he's looking for - then get up and walk away.
Of course, you can continue to try to convince him until you're blue in the face, and have spent all your energy - but he appears to be dead set in his thinking. All this will get you is pain, suffering, heartache and sleepless nights. If he is meant to be in your life, then perhaps one day he will wake up and see the light and apologize to you - but, in the meantime, keep your heart from being trampled on! - for you will be much happier and healthier as a result.
My very best to you, hon.
Please take care.