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The Mystic Wave
The Mystic Wave, Relationship Advisor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 427
Experience:  Natural born empath, spiritualist, clairvoyant, gifted psychic. 36 yrs - offering advice & guidance
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AM I INSECURE

Customer Question

I am engaged and pregnant, it was a planned pregnancy, my fiance is out of state, had a great job opportunity, i will be joining him soon. I have excellent job opportunities there as well, he keeps asking me why I don’t just work at the mall or something. Very strange...I have a degree and am being offered jobs for $50K a year. He doesn’t call very often, I am not calling often either, is he just stressed/nervous with all these changes? Or what? How do I handle this? He tells me he loves me, but lately I am insecure...He has never been a "phone person", he calls about every 2-3 days...
Submitted: 11 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Candace replied 11 years ago.
HiCustomer

It's hard to cope with the distance and changes, but as you said, he's calling every 2-3 days and that's pretty good for a person who's not a phone person! When the two of you are back together again everything will be okay as long as you don't let petty things drive a wedge between the two of you.

It's understandable for you to have these feelings, your hormones are fluctuating and you are experiencing a big change in your life. In fact, you are experiencing or going to experience some of the most major life changes a person could go through: marriage, new job, and having a child. The key to keeping things on an even keel is communication. Once you are settled down in your new situation things will have a chance to get back to "normal."

When emotional situations come up, as they will from time to time, just be patient and talk things out with your fiance/soon to be husband. The two of you will not see eye to eye on everything, but that's where compromising comes into play. Each person has to give a little to make things work. When each person is looking out for the interests of the other person, instead of their own interests, it makes for a good relationship.

I wish you the best for the future and this new family you are creating. Please let us know if you need more help or advice.
Expert:  Vickie replied 11 years ago.
DearCustomer
It is very normal to feel insecure at this time. I don't know a pregnant woman who hasn't felt that way at some time during her pregnancy. The fact that you are apart at this time when you really need his reassurance is probably making things a little harder. I would try not to worry so much, and if you are feeling insecure because he is not calling you so much - then call him. Let him know how you are feeling. If you don't tell him how will he know? He might be sitting there thinking that everything is just fine - having no idea that you are feeling this way. Give him a chance to resolve this and comfort you, as i'm sure he will. And as for your job, His reasoning for that might be as simple as that he understands that you want to work, and is obviously ok with that, but maybe he is thinking of you and his baby. Maybe he wants you to consider a lot less stressful job that would be a lot easier on you as you get bigger and more uncomfortable later in your pregnancy.
I'm sure that your fiance is nervous about all the new changes that are taking place in your lives right now, but aren't you a little nervous also? You will see, your main problem at the moment is that you are having to be apart at a very special time in your life - and as soon as you are back together again everything will be fine. It sounds to me like he is away working to make things better for you and your new family - and when you are finally able to join him all these feelings you are having will fade away.
Good luck with your new family and a bright future! You are in my prayers.
Expert:  The Mystic Wave replied 11 years ago.

Greetings:


Congratulations on your engagement and pregnancy.


Wondering doesn't solve anything and certainly can make one crazy in time. It could be this or it could be that. Coming out and asking him is the best way to go - it saves on worry, headaches, frustration, anxiety, what have you, and gives you time to devote on happier and more creative things in life. Think good thoughts!


My very best to you and your new family.


Bright Blessings.


Peace, Love & Happiness,


The Mystic Wave

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