Many times we get involved with others to help us resolve issues from our past. You indicate that your wife appears to be like your father -and you state that it took some time to get back in contact with your father....thus, through your wife, you are indirectly working things out with your father.....but, this is just one theory!
Your wife is dealing with many issues - perhaps giving her time and space, as well as for yourself, would be a practical approach to take....
One question you have is "Why are you having a hard time of what to do?"......that is simple..it appears that you care for her and you have a daughter together - you are a responsible person...who has feelings, compassion and love...any other man would have walked out the door, not to mention any woman dealing with a husband carrying on like this....they would be out in a heartbeat....
Your other question was "Why do you really want it to work out?..... again, simple....because you indicate that you love her...so, your head says one things, and your heart says another...(conflicting)....but, honestly, we are all like that since we're all human!
Just because someone has personal issues and doesn't appear to be like so-called other "normal" people in society - doesn't mean that they are worthless and shouldn't be dealt with, cared for or loved...and who has claims to being truly normal anyway? No one on the face of the earth is perfect...we all have issues - all to various degrees - each and every one of us...(6 billion plus people on this planet)..anyone who says otherwise is in denial.......Certainly, you take your marriage vows seriously...and one of them is to "Love and Honor in sickness and in health"....well - I believe that is what you are doing...Yes, your wife appears to need some help, only because she is creating separation between the two of you...and she is doing and saying things to hurt you - It's so very interesting how so many people (who appear to be of the "norm") like to pick at the negative things about others and not the good... you on the other hand, are looking at good about her....I'm sure you are aware that your wife must be hurting more, deep down inside.
Personally, I would give her some time, time to think things through....and you, as well....hopefully, being that you say you love her - in time, things will work itself out...Perhaps you may need to seek counseling..Knowingly, Love is stronger than anything on the face of the earth...and if there's a will there's a way....Decide if you want to be with her for the rest of your life...I will send good thoughts your way that things work out to your satisfaction.
My very best to you, your wife, daughter and step children.
Peace, Love & Happiness,
The Mystic Wave
It appears that I inadvertently mentioned that you are married... and taking your wedding vows seriously......my apologies...but, I still stand by my response above..
I have responded to you (above) but inadvertently mentioned that you were married - I apologized...I would like to respond further to your new post but do not wish to do so until I know for certain as I do not wish to intrude should you be addressing this to the other expert (NurseHope).
Please let me know. Thank you.
I thank you very much for your very kind comments - it's deeply appreciated.
I have quite a bit to say. In answer to your questions - "Are you trying so hard due to your parent's divorce?" - of course it's possible - but certainly you would be the one to know if this is so.. Your friends are saying to run...well, quite honestly, it's easy for others to talk...and what happens if you take their advice...and years from now you look back and wish you hadn't?....where will those friends be years from now? Will they still be standing by your side? Will they support you when you're down and out, missing her??? Fact is, you are the one in the relationship with her - no one else..thus, no one else can decide for you...but you!
Where do you see yourself a year from now - or two years from now without her? What do you really want? Of course you can't change her - but I can see that it is not really her that you want to change...it is only her certain actions that you want changed...Relationships aren't easy and they can either make you or break you...and even the ones we truly love with all our hearts and souls can hurt you so bad til you feel like you just want to die....but yet we can't break free....only because it's our destiny...it's the path that we have chosen to take for real lessons to be learned...and the partner that we have chosen to be with for life. I'm not saying that one needs to remain with an abuser - but the saying goes "you always hurt the one you love"...that is for real...and yet, that is not a matter that one needs to see a shrink about..for only if one is willing to work things out - to share communication....it's simple really to mend a relationship. However, not everyone has the communication skills in which to do so...thus, one may wish to seek professional counseling.
I was separated from my husband for 2 years - he left out of the blue (before we were married)- it was quite a learning experience...during that time, we both went on our own spiritual journey...soul searching mostly for him...and I became a book worm...studying everything and anything in sight...gaining more knowledge..When he returned, for which I welcomed him back without hesitation, we teamed up concerning our knowledge - of those 2 years apart - and we are so much stronger now - and we are so very enlightened - reaching out to others to help. I believe that everything happens for a reason - encountering people in our lives for a reason - as long as one can be civil to another, show respect and not back stab, we have the opportunity to learn from them..or to teach them....thus, there should be no reason to walk away from them...however, if one feels that it is time to move on for their own spiritual progress, then one should say thank you for coming into one's life...and simply take another path for more adventures/experiences.....and this is what you may wish to think about concerning your girlfriend. It's not difficult to walk away if you don't care for her...it's not difficult to walk away if you don't love her....but, if you do - yet things are not right between the two of you at this time....then time and space apart is something to consider......time to truly go within and ask yourself how you truly feel about her.....She can be healed - for no one is a lost cause...only too many lost souls....that desparately need their spirit lifted by one willing to offer unconditional love and compassion.
I am interested in knowing what you meant about going to a "psychic"...
If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.