My sympathies for your breakup.
Assuming the property has stayed the same price, normally the parties would be reimbursed for their down payment; if the property has appreciated/depreciated, then normally there are 2 ways to deal with this:
1. if the deed specifies the property is 50/50 ownership, then divide any equity (or pay 1/2 of any loss) equally.
2. if agreed, (and this is standard), then any appreciation/depreciation is prorated between the parties based on their ownership interest, as that is generally the most equitable manner of dealing with it, absent a contract to the contrary.
Normally only the party refinancing is entitled to see the appraisal, but one can of course make a buy out offer contingent upon the agreed upon price matching the appraisal.
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Information provided is for educational purposes only. Consultation with a personal attorney is always recommended so your particular facts may be considered. Thank you and take care.