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I am sorry you are dealing with this situation. If the lender is discriminating you will either have to file a lawsuit against them asserting discrimination and proving in fact they have. Even if they are discriminating and are in violation of the law, unless adjudicated as doing so, there is no remedy for the victim of the discrimination. However, as you can imagine, a lawsuit is expensive and takes time.
An alternative would be to file a consumer complaint against the reverse mortgage lender and let the overviewing agency investigate and possibly resolve the situation and issue fines and penalties to the lender. A complaint can be submitted to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau: http://www.consumerfinance.gov/complaint/
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