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I am sorry to hear about this situation. At this point, it sounds like the property has two owners - you and her.
If the two owners cannot agree as to what to do, then either can file for what is known as a partition in court. A partition has the Judge decide on how to divide the property based on equity (fairness). The Court may order the property:
-sold and proceeds split, or
-have one party buy the other out, either lump sum or over time, or
-whatever else the court believes is equitable.
Whether or not the Court will give her credit for any money she put into the home is up to the Court, however, this is unlikely given her attempt to refinance without your authority which makes her look bad.
Perhaps the threat of such a lawsuit to her may be enough to come to a settlement, because otherwise partition litigation can cost thousands of dollars to both parties.
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