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Here is the rest of his email:
The parenting plan says that you are to responsible pick the boys up up from my residence, and does not mention the possibility of delegating this task. Therefore, if you want to assign this task to a third person, please coordinate with me in advance. I would be glad to hand the boys over to a person whom I trust as stable and reliable.My condo is situated on private property commonly owned by the condo association, and I believe that includes the private driveway in front of my door. I am responsible to keep this common area safe and peaceful, and may have legal liability for incidents with my visitors. Please kindly tell your mother to stay off this property, and away from me.As you have experienced, this driveway can get busy around 6 pm, with my neighbors and their visitors driving in and out. I can't just send the boys out the front door, allowing them to run between parked cars on the driveway. The handover of the boys therefore requires close physical interaction with the person picking them up, as you have experienced. Please do not send your mother to pick up the boys, I believe her to be unstable, and do not feel comfortable being close to her.
Good question. I'm glad you asked.
By the way, my daughter's divorce attorney says he is wrong about the intent of the passage n the parenting plan. He says the parenting plan does NOT restrict pick up to just the mother (or father on the other end) but rather means that they are responsible for the pick up.
So far, you sound like an automated system...
If your daughter lets the soon to be ex that your are her representative picking up the boys (in writing is good) and he refuses to let you onto the property for that purpose, he is effectively refusing your daughter permission to pick up her sons. No, it is not permissible. That said you need to do everything you can to keep the peace when you collect them. Your daughter should try to smooth the pick-up process over before you arrive to avoid conflict.
My daughter said she felt he was threatening and perhaps warning her that my presence would be provoking behavior on his part that he would then say he was not responsible for. Does this email feel threatening to you?
Also would it be appropriate for me to contact his landlord and inform him of his tenant's request that I stay off common property?
Are you still there?
Yes, still here. Sorry. The site has beed sticky tonight.
It feels to me that he may initiate a confrontation, then blame it on you. The worst part is it will likely be in front of the kids.
As far as contacting the landlord goes, that wouldn't be appropriate because there is nothing the landlord can do, other than tell you common areas are common areas.
From a legal perspective, the letter is evidence of obstruction that will assist your daughter in court.
However, that doesn't help you pick up the kids today. What is it that the soon to be ex wants as far as pick up arrangements go?
Does he want to bring the kids to you, perhaps?
So I think you are saying he cannot write my daughter "kindly" requesting to restrain me from entering common areas without cause?
That is correct.
He offered to bring them to her, but she will be at the meeting. Here is the final paragrapgh of his email
Please let me know if you intend to pick the boys up yourself, or if you have an alternative person in mind. To accommodate you, as I did two weekends ago when I picked the boys up from a location other than your house, I am willing to deliver them to you.
If you are representing your daughter and picking up the children on her behalf, you have every right to do so, unless you were confrontational, which does not seem to be the case.
As the alternative person, you have a right to pick up the boys. In the alternative, the husband may drop off the boys to you, as the designated alternative person. If you live far away, the husband can drop the boys off with you at your daughter's house. This needs to be arranged by your daughter. It should be done in writing by fax or email, as well as by phone.
I suggested she just cancel the school meeting and pick them up as scheduled. That is too bad as she rewards his negative behavior...This conversation has been very helpful because it makes me realize he is, in essence, laying the groundwork in writing for possible creation of an incident in the future.
It is important that your daughter keeps a record of all of these incidents. In the long run, it will not be rewarding your son-in-law's bad behavior, it will be solidifying her position in a custody battle.
The do all communication by email. Often, when she shares them with me, I feel he writes as if he is "posturing" for court. Or in this case, perhaps another party, such as the police. This one feels that way, too...
It sounds that way. Your daughter should keep that in mind in all her communications and do the same.
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All the best,
-- Attorney 1
I appreciate your help very much. Good advice on a number of fronts!
My pleasure. Take care and be well.
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