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I am very sorry to hear that your daughter in law is taking such advantage of your son, but I am a firm believer in the saying, "What goes around, comes around", so she will get what is coming to her and what she deserves.
1. You asked if she could exclude your son from the house
Neither spouse can exclude the other spouse from the marital residence. I understand that you said that they own it as Tenants y the Entireties which means that each spouse owns an undivided one-half interest in the whole. But, even if the wife owned 100% of the house, she could not exclude your son because it was the "marital residence". The wife's lawyer does not sound very ethical if he is threatening your son with a Petition for an Order of Protection because (1) he knows your son has done nothing to warrant a Protection Order being entered against him; and (2) the lawyer knows that your son cannot risk his Top Secret Security Clearance and his unblemished record;
2. You also asked if the wife can collect rent from the boyfriend and keep it
No she cannot collect rent on a jointly owned house and keep the entire amount of the rent she collected. Since the retired police officer who is a neighbor is a friend of your son's, it would be a good idea if he spoke to the neighbor to find out specifics like how long the boyfriend has lived there, does the boyfriend stay there all day, or does it look like he has a job and leaves in the morning and returns at night. This way, your son can do some alculations of how much he is owed in rent from the boyfriend.
3. Lastly, you asked if your son is entitled to some kind of credit because he has been making one-half of the mortgage payments each month, but he has been denied access.
Your son must get a credit for making One-Half of the Mortgage Payment each month o a house to which he has unjustifiably and illegally been excluded. In addition to this, your son is entitled to an additional credit equal to the Fair Market Rental Value of the property and this amount should be charged to the wife. What I mean by "charged" is this - Say, the divorce proceedings are oming to an end and the only issue left is division of the marital property, but the parties cannot come to an agreement as to the division. If the parties live in a communtity property State, the Judge will divide the marital property equally and the Judge can pick and choose who gets what. Think of each spouse as having an account and they each have a balance sheet. The Judge will listen to your son's argument that he was denied access to the marital residence, she occupied it with her boyfriend who paid rent and your son was making one-Half of the monthly mortgage payment. The Judge will give your son''s account credit for the Fair Rental Value of the wife's occupancy, give him credit for the rent she was collecting from the boyfriend and credit for making one half of the monthly mortgage payments. Each time your son's "balance sheet" receivees a credit, it is deducted from the wife's balance sheet. So, the Judge evens everything out in the end.
Your son should retain a lawyer to protect his interests and to keep a eye on the wife's lawyer to make sure he does not do anything to jeoprdize your son's Top Secret Security Clearance. When another lawyer is involved, the wife's lawyer will not be so arrogant and threatening to your son. In fact, since the boyfriend does not even belong in the house, the first demand that your son's lawyer should make is to demand sole occupancy of the marital residence for your son. The wife and the boyfriend can then fend for themselves.
It will be a difficult time for your son, but please tell him that it will pass and anytime he is disheartenend, to just look a few months ahead when all of this will be behind him,
I wish you and your son the very best of Luck,
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