Real Estate Law
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You are being legally robbed by this person and don't want to get nasty or confrontational? This person is trying to take your property by adverse possession. You are required by law to (the legal word literally is:) CONFRONT her or you are going to lose title to this parcel. You can certainly send her a registered, return receipt requested letter demanding the removal of the fence and the plantings, but you cannot establish ownership of them by saying in the letter that if she does not reply she forfeits them. A fence is not difficult or expensive to remove, concrete footings or not.
Remember she has taken actions which are planned and legally designed to establish open, hostile and notorius possession of your land. It's like she read the law books.
I am finally getting it. The fence is attractive and does provide privacy between the lots. I would have liked to leave the fence up on my terms but from what I understand I have to remove it to keep her from stealing my land. I have no way to claim abandonment to stop adverse possession claims. Is that correct? I will release funds following your reply. Thank you so much for your help.