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can you help me, my man doesn''t like me to ask him ...

Sent to Relationship Experts December 28 2007 at 6:44 AM
   

can you help me, my man doesn''t like me to ask him questions about where''s hes at or what hes doing? what should i do?

Customer (name blocked for privacy)
Status:  Closed   Value: $9
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December 28 2007 at 6:47 AM (3 minutes and 3 seconds later)
         

Hi Customer (name blocked for privacy). Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. The other Experts and I are working on your answer. By the way, it would help us to know:

-What are your ages?

-How long have you been dating him?

-What does he say when you ask him where he has been?

-Do you have trust issues with him?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.



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Kimberly Ann
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KimberlyF -- Longtime Relationship Expert -- 100% Positive Feedback on 455 Relationship Accepts
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December 28 2007 at 7:00 AM (12 minutes and 40 seconds later)
         
im 21 and hes 25. we have a son together and we also live together and we have been together for 2 1/2 years. when i ask him where he has been he tells me the answer, but then he gets mad because he says that im a police officer and that i think hes cheating or something. i do have trust issues but sometimes he gives me half the answer and i find out the rest later myself.
Customer (name blocked for privacy)
Answer
December 28 2007 at 7:18 AM (18 minutes and 43 seconds later)
         
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Customer (name blocked for privacy),

Depending on how much you ask him that question he may be telling you the truth about how you asking him where he has been makes him feel. He may feel like you think that every time he leaves the house that he is cheating on you with someone else but if he has nothing to worry about he should be able to tell you where has been without getting angry unless you ask him every time he leaves then he may think you ask him too many question and that is why he said you sound like the police. A relationship is built on trust and honesty and he has to understand that if he isn't totally honest with you then that is going to make you wonder that he has something to hide and this is why he is telling you half the answer.

You should tell him that if he would tell you the whole truth no matter how much he may think it will make you mad, that this will help you to trust him more but when he doesn't tell you the totally story as to where he was then that is when the distrust comes in. Men don't like if they feel that their woman is trying to act like their mother and that may be how he feels like you are trying to be his mother or his warden. Try not to harp too much on where he has been or go about it differently like: ask him how his day went or what did you do today. Maybe if you go about it different and ask him in a different way he may be more apt to tell you more about where he was and what is was doing. Asking him like the police as he feels you do will only make him shut down and not want to tell you anything and this is why you may only get half the answer.

Try not asking him as soon as he gets in the house maybe wait a bit and then ask him as if you are interested in what his day consist of maybe he will be able to open up to you and feel like he can talk to you about anything and everything. If you have anything more add to just click reply.



Edited by KimberlyF on December 28 2007 at 7:20 AM

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Kimberly Ann
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December 28 2007 at 7:42 AM (24 minutes and 8 seconds later)
         
its when he goes out to the store or is coming home from work. i know how long it takes him to come home from work after he drops a friend off at his house, so thats when i asked the question "why did it take you so long to get to the house?" and when he leaves to go somewhere i asked him how long is it going to take him and where is he going? but it seems that he doesnt want me to worry about it or he says "why do you care, police officer!" what do you think i should do to make him think that i trust him its just that i want to show him i care about him?
Customer (name blocked for privacy)
Answer
December 28 2007 at 7:50 AM (7 minutes and 55 seconds later)
         
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December 28 2007 at 8:10 AM (19 minutes and 16 seconds later)
         
Thanks Kimberly Ann you helped alot, i also have another question. with him being a mama's boy after he gets made at me being that we have been arguing off and on for that one reason, he says that he doesnt like me anymore and says that hes going to ask his mom to go and live back with her when our lease is up in april, but being that he left there before we got or place because she kicked him out, should i worry about him really leaving me and my son and going to stay with her to get away from me?
Customer (name blocked for privacy)
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December 28 2007 at 8:18 AM (8 minutes and 27 seconds later)
         
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KimberlyF -- Longtime Relationship Expert -- 100% Positive Feedback on 455 Relationship Accepts
Relationship expert for two years with JustAnswer.com
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December 28 2007 at 8:33 AM (14 minutes and 42 seconds later)
         
Thanks you helped alot Kimberly Ann, i will try and do what you said for the New Years. Thanks again
Customer (name blocked for privacy)
Info Request
December 28 2007 at 8:37 AM (4 minutes and 14 seconds later)
         

Customer (name blocked for privacy),

You are so welcome and if ever you need me again just come back to Just Answer and type my name in the subject line and I would be happy to help you again even if you just need to talk or need encouragement. Remember BABY STEPS and don't expect too much too soon it won't happen overnight. Good Luck to you, I'm here for you as long as you need me to be!



If you are satisfied with my answer please click the ACCEPTbutton. If not click reply it is free.Bonuses are welcomed.PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK.

Kimberly Ann
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KimberlyF -- Longtime Relationship Expert -- 100% Positive Feedback on 455 Relationship Accepts
Relationship expert for two years with JustAnswer.com
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