Question

i have been taking unperscribed xanax bars for almost a year. along with 100mg lamictal ,.5 chlonapan , adderall 30mg xl 10mg adderall . i take one xanax bar @11:00 a.m & another one one @ about 5:00p.m daily .
i have been diagnosed with bypolar , adhd ,and i have severe anxiety attacks . i , told my physiciatrist that i had been taking them , and she recommened , that i stop taking the xanax, that they were very dangerous, she gave me 1mg cholanapam and said to take 2 @ 11.00a.m. &5:00p.m. when i ususally take the xanax bars . it's not helping , it's been about day 4 and still taking i bar a day ,feel awful feels like my throat is closing up , when the xanax is wearing off constant crying spell , feel like i have the flu . i , hate everything i just want to get in my car and drive , can't stand to be at home hate it . and i WILL NOT GO TO A REHAB FACILITIE , what should i do /