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When I was 10, my mum left my dad. Initially, we were very close, and I was her best friend. As she got over the separation, she didn’t need me so much, and other men started appearing. I wasn’t happy, and things went downhill between us. Eventually she exploded at me – I remember everything about that moment, the sun, the room, where I was sitting, and her exact words – “I don’t need you, I don’t want you, and just remember that I can send you to the children’s home any time I like.” That was 30 years ago - why on earth can I not just let this go? When I have a bad day, those words come back in my head and make me cry. How do I stop this?

Submitted: 26 days and 20 hours ago.
Category: Mental Health
Value: $23
Status: CLOSED
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Optional Information

Gender: Female
Age: 43

Already Tried:
Telling myself to get over it! Crying alone. Have never told anyone anything about it.

Accepted Answer

Hello.

First I am sorry for the abuse and neglect that you experienced. The memory has become engrained in your mind. As a child we believe everything is our fault and that type of thinking still exists on some level. I would suggest that you think about undergoing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for the depression and anxiety that you have appeared to developed. With CBT you learn new ways of thinking and acting and as a result you feel better. Another option is medication which can help to alleviate the depression and anxiety. Evidence based studies have shown that the combination of CBT and psychotherapy is the most effective treatment for anxiety and depression. I hope this advice has be helpful. See

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/therapies/cognitivebehaviouraltherapy.aspx

 

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

 

If you require further clarification or more information, feel free to ask!

Please click green "ACCEPT" button on this page if you are satisfied with my answer so that I get credit for my work. Your positive feedback is most important and bonuses are always welcomed. If this is a mental health, or medical emergency, please call emergency services (911 in the USA), or go to your nearest Emergency Room. The opinion provided does not replace an evaluation by an appropriate professional. Use of this website DOES NOT CREATE a provider-client relation and this information is for educational purposes only.

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Expert: Ralph LMHC
Pos. Feedback: 99.4 %
Accepts: 
Answered: 10/26/2009

Therapist

20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs

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