Accepted Answer

Introducing a new cat to an established household can be tricky, but it can be done (I myself have 5 cats of all different ages, so we've been through this a time or two!!)

In a cat heirarchy a strong kitty will always try to take over and assume the alpha position. In addition, that is always subject to changes if cat one senses weakness in cat two. Cats DO work things out in their own way and they could care less what humans (or behaviorists) think. They only respond to the energy of another animal be it feline, canine or human. Punishment is useless and counterproductive because they simply do not understand being hurt - they would just try to avoid the hurter in the future but it would not teach them anything.(except fear)

Cats do not follow a pack leader the way dogs do but they do sense their human parents energy and respond accordingly - so if you are nervous, they will be nervous. If you are stressed, they are stressed as well.

Conventional wisdom tells us to hide a new feline family member away in a room for a few days, or even a few weeks. The theory is that the resident cats and the newcomer will get used to each other's scents before they're formally introduced. But most cats don't buy into the conventional wisdom on anything -- including introductions. And it's possible that all that time in isolation will make your new cat edgy and nervous about the enemy on the other side of the door. This is the way my cats and I like to welcome newcomers to our home:
-Set the new cat up in his own room with food and water, a litter box, toys and comfortable places to nap. The room should have a sunny window. Shut the door, and give the cat time to adjust to his new surroundings.
- After a few hours, open the door. Let the cat venture out when he's ready. If he wants to spend several days hiding under the bed in "his" room, let that be his choice. Most likely, your resident cats will respect his space and leave him alone. If you feel you must keep the cats separated, put a screen door at the doorway to the new cat's room so he and the resident cats can see each other and get acquainted.
- When the cats meet, they'll hiss and growl. But most neutered cats
hate to fight and will avoid confrontation at all costs. Watch their body language. If one starts grooming, yawns or turns her head away, she's giving the other cat an opportunity to leave the "battleground" without losing face.
- Be patient. It could take days, or even weeks, for the cats to work things out and for the newcomer to learn the house rules. Meanwhile, the cats will pick up on your feelings. If you act like having a newcomer in the house is perfectly natural and not a big deal, the cats will probably agree.

Tip: Let the new cat explore on his own. Don't pick him up and put him down in a different room. Cats leave signposts for themselves with the scent glands in their paw pads and cheeks. This allows him to create signposts for himself, so he can learn the lay of the land.

Here are some ways to help your original cats and a newcomer become friends.
- Make the original cats feel special. Give them the most praise and attention, even if that means ignoring the newcomer. The new cat will understand. His feelings won't be hurt!
- Do fun things. Help the cats associate pleasant experiences with each other. Play with them together. Or feed them together.
- Don't Force Things. Never force the new cat to come out of his room or associate with the other cats. He'll do these things when he's ready. It may be weeks before he's ready.
Consider using calming agents such as Feliway diffusers (a cat pheromone that is thought to natually calm and reduce tension) or a homeopathic destressor such as Composure or Bach's Rescue Remedy. These things may help to "take the edge off" and allow everyone to relax.
- Set A Time Limit. Decide how long it should take for a new cat to begin feeling comfortable in your house. If after, say, three months, he's still not fitting in, it's time to look for a new home. It's better to end the relationship before the new cat forms a strong bond with you. Try to place the cat yourself, or work with a cat rescue group.

 

Just imagine how stressed you become when they hiss - well they can feel your anxiety and it makes them nervous.

Actually if you ever watched cats in the cat room of a shelter you would see similar behavior but they eventually do work things out in an amicable fashion .Because they have to. Yours will too!

Please let me know how things are going. If you have questions along the way I will always be here for you.

I will help you resolve this so you can have peace in home so don't worry. Things will be fine -I promise.

Just remember to be CALM all the time!

Expert:	ChristineM
Pos. Feedback:	100.0 %
Accepts:	165
Answered:	10/24/2009

Veterinarian

3+ years in small animal medicine, focus on feline medicine