Dear XXXXXXXX - The problem with leaving is that you will not be able to file for divorce once you get to OK since you will not have established residency. Therefore your husband will be able to file and you would have to return in order to contest the action. Technically, before any action is filed you and your husband have equal rights to the kids but if you take off it is not going to help you in the long run.
I completely understand what your situation is and everything about the job and family in OK. However both parents in a divorce situation have a right to be involved in their children's lives and it is possible that the court in SD will rule that you cannot remove the kids from the jurisdiction. The decision will be based on the best interests of the children, not the parents.
Whether you can leave the state will depend on what motions your husband files as to temporary custody and visitation. In many cases all of this can be worked out through long distance visitation arrangements but I can't tell you that this can be worked out by November.
Only you can make the decision of whether you want to run the risk of leaving and then having to return for court. It's not you that the court can stop from moving, it's just the kids. At this point you can go but then you will have to deal with what your husband does in the SD courts. The best solution would be to get an agreement with your husband for some type of long distance visitation arrangement and then proceed with the divorce but I doubt that is going to happen.
Obviously the attorneys in SD cannot predict exactly what your husband may or may not do with respect to motions for custody etc so it is difficult to tell you exactly how to proceed. If you can stay in SD and get everything worked out as to the visitation and moving etc it would be far better in the long run, job or no job.
Dave Kennett
Lawyer (JD)
25 years experience in general law, including real estate, criminal, traffic, and domestic relations