Hello Eva,
Self diagnosis is a very difficult task and often inaccurate. So far you have described many severe debilitating symptons, but you mention no psychotic behavior that would justify a schizophrenic diagnosis. There is from what I have read no indication of psychotic feaures which involves delusions and hallucinations. Yes there are features that are associated with schizophrenia,, but as i said the two most important ones indicative of psychotic behavior is absent. I am not saying that you are not experiencing significant problems-you are, but not schizophrenia, Actually you sound like you are very depressed and anxious with sleep, akathesia (pacing), anhedonia (lack of pleasure), poor ADL (self care), little ego strength, self harmful thinking, mood shifts, feelings of guilt and pressure.
Why wonder? Why not see a mental health professional for a candid evaluation with a psychiatrist, be evaluated for medication use as well.
Sincerely,
Ralph LMHC
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Therapist
20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs