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Just wondering if you could help me answer some questions I have. First, my daughter is 10 years old and her father and I have a 50/50 custody order. We changed it last May from me being the custodial parent so he could spend more time with her. Well, since that changed he changed his job where he actually works out of state. He started there Sept of 08. He does not want the order to change. He still wants her with his family half of the time. I don't want to keep her from them...But I am her parent and I am here and able to care for her. I just don't believe she needs to be with his family half of the time. He has a new wife who is pregnant and doesn't even see her when she goes to his side of the family. I am just really unsure what I have to do so I don't cause more problems than need be. I just don't know what to do, because truthfully I believe he wanted 50/50 for money reasons and not the benefit of our daughter. Please advise. Thanks, Jenny
Submitted: 90 days and 10 hours ago.
Category: Legal
Value: $18
Status: AWAITING CUSTOMER ACTION
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State/Country relating to Question: Wisconsin
Already Tried:
Trying to talk it over with him, and he just says we'll talk later.
Posted by
DCrane
90 days and 10 hours ago.
Info Request
Good evening Jenny, what do you desire to do?
90 days and 10 hours ago.
Reply
Do I have to have her go to his family if he desires? With school starting I feel she needs stability and doesn't need to bounce around to different family members. I am not trying to be petty. They are good people, but I am her mother. What should I do? Have the order changed? Risk upsetting him? Just unsure.
Posted by
DCrane
90 days and 9 hours ago.
Answer
No, you do not. The purpose of custody is for the preservation of the parental relationship, not that of the extended family. You would have to petition the court to amend the custody order, which may upset him, but that is the only available route to ensure your child has the stability you seek.
90 days and 9 hours ago.
Reply
But what if he were to come back with something like she could stay with the wife. Does that have any better standing for him?
Posted by
DCrane
90 days and 9 hours ago.
Answer
No it does not, because the wife is not the child's parent.
90 days and 8 hours ago.
Reply
What can he do to stop me from getting the custody arrangement changed. Other than quitting his job, and moving back to this state?
Posted by
DCrane
90 days and 8 hours ago.
Answer
the only thing he could do is attempt to show the court how he will be more involved in the child's life and evidence of that would be quitting his job and moving back.
90 days and 8 hours ago.
Reply
What about the new child though.. Does that play a part in any of it. Please don't take it the wrong way. I want my daughter involved with them. But, when her stepmom doesn't include her now, how do I expect her to be better when there is a child that is theirs and not his and mine. I think I sound bitter, but honestly it's just concern for my daughter's well being.
Posted by
DCrane
90 days and 8 hours ago.
Info Request
what do you mean what about the child? you did not allege that the child is mis-treated when with her father's family.
90 days and 8 hours ago.
Reply
No, not mis-treated.. But when she is with his family it is his parents or sisters, not with his wife. She is pregnant with his second child which is due in December, and she has shown no interest in our daughter. Does this clarify?
Posted by
DCrane
90 days and 8 hours ago.
Info Request
not really, what exactly are you asking? I really want to understand you.
90 days and 8 hours ago.
Reply
Does the fact that they are having a baby together change things at all. Does that give him or her more rights to my daughter? So, if it does should I do something before the baby is born? What can I say to her Dad to make him see where I am coming from without freaking him out about child support... which does not matter to me. I just think that is the reason for the initial change in custody in the first place. Because once it did change and he was still home, he still sent her to his parents and sisters during his time. Not the whole time but quite frequently.
Posted by
DCrane
90 days and 8 hours ago.
Answer
No their child on the way has no bearing whatsover. You know her dad far better than I, and I can only advise on the legal questions presented. This seems to be more of a relationship question with respect to how to address the father.
90 days and 8 hours ago.
Reply
WHAT WOULD BE YOUR RECOMMENDATION ON WHAT TO DO? HONESTLY?
Answer
Proceed to modify the custody arrangement.
Expert:
DCrane
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Answered:
8/23/2009
Attorney
Negotiate, Draft, and Review many complex commercial agreements each year.
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