Dear down and out 2,
From the information you have provided, it is possible that she does have one or two psychiatric disorders, one obviously being substance abuse and addiction, evidenced by the alcoholism and possibly the gambling, depending on further details.
Stealing other people's belongings to support an addiction is a common sign of addictive an addictive person, someone who puts their addiction ahead of anything or anyone else. Many alcoholics are self-medicating a mood disorder, such as Bipolar illness. Individuals with Bipolar Disoder exhibit either mania or hypomania, feelings of being "special" also called grandiosity and poor judgement. There are many more characteristics of this illness and you could review the criteria for both addiction and Bipolar illnesses to see how many other symptoms she exhibits. Another symptom of hypomania or mania is irritability which can result in the behaviors of verbal abuse and insensitivity to others. The irritability also can result from the mood swings caused by the alcoholism itself.
If she has been unwilling to go for evaluation or to seek help for herself, then certainly you are doing the best thing for yourself and your children to separate from her. Thats even the best thing for her. Sometimes only after losign everything does the alcoholic ever believe that they have a problem.
If you want more information on how to handle this legally, you will need to open a new question in one of the legal categories.
If you would like me to send you references that show the criteria for the above illnesses for you to review further, just let me know.
Nurse (RN)
BSN, MSN, CNS