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Question

I am concerned about my brother being appointed deputy by the court of protection. My concerns are his honesty regarding my mums affairs. Mum has dementia and has lost capacity. My brother lives in Jamaica and has spent considerable amount of money on legal fees to get this appointment. I have no wish to contest him as it will drag proceedings on and we are looking for a quicker solution to sorting out mums affairs (including refurbishing and renting out her house to help pay care costs if she is to remain in care. His solicitors have said it would be good if we can work together as my brother can not get access to mums bank accounts and pensions here. Thats why he needs me. Social services are now conducting DOLS, the familly have yet to be invited for the best interests meeting part of it.

My mum has been in a care home for last 3 years, I only knew this some 2 months ago. Mum and I havent always seen eye to eye. Mum has advanced dementia and chronic diabetes causing seriuos leg ulcers, whcih need dressing daily

Submitted: 223 days ago.

Category: Mental Health

Value: $15

Status: CLOSED

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Optional Information

Gender: Male
Age: 54
State/Country: United Kingdom

Already Tried:
mediating with my brother but he is determined to get my mother to jamaica (he claims he can provide 24 hour care there, I doubt it, she would only need to get one mosquito bite to seriously impact on her health) he has laso said to my aunty that he only wants to look after mum if he gets her house, her bank accounts and her 2 pensions, that is disgraceful because mum is still alive) my aunty is executor of mums will and she is being pressured by him to help get mum to jamaica. I have offered to be mums carer in her home, tho I am reluctant to give up my job and move to nottingham, I live in london. I have asked his solicitor to draw up a legal document stipulating that both mine and his signatures needed before any withdrawals taken from her accounts. I am worried that he wont stick to this arrangement and clean out mums bank accounts.

Posted by Kelley 223 days ago.

Answer

Hi,
I am sorry that you are having so many issues in your family right now. It is hard enough to deal with a parent having dementia much less having problems with family. I understand your concerns and hope that social services will allow both you and your brother to work together. You said your brother is in Jamaica, where is your mum and yourself?

223 days ago.

Reply

As just stated mum is in a care home in nottingham (where she lives) and I live in London. Please could you give more detailed advice about how to work this through. I am worried about safeguarding mums assets and concentrating on her care

Accepted Answer

Sorry, the "already tried" part of your question did not show up until this message. If your brother was appoitned deputy by the court that usually means he is your mother full legal guardian and it would be up to him to either allow you to step in and care for the finances. Is social services the one that are going to determine that in your case? If your brother is unwilling to let you step in and take care of the finances and physcial care of your mother than the only way to gain accesss to that would be to contest the deputy appointed by the court. I would call social services to see when they will hear your concerns since it looks like they will be making some determinations in the case. Moving and advanced demetia patient is usually not recommended because when you drastically change their surroundings it can casue a decline in the dementia. That is a pretty long trip to and it sounds like the trip would be very hard on her. Do you feel though that she is getting the best care in the home now?

Expert:	Kelley
Pos. Feedback:	97.2 %
Accepts:	452
Answered:	8/9/2009

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

BSW, MSW, LCSW

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