I suggest counseling with a psychologist for both of you. I did the same thing when my daughter was younger. The psychologist helped us both by teaching me how to handle her, and teaching her about rules. It soaks in sometimes better when it isn't coming from mom.
Hope that helps,
Kerry
Nurse (RN)
35 years in Nursing: OB/GYN, Peds, Oncology, hospice, Ortho, Neuro, Addiction, Recovery, Geriatrics,