Hi XXXXX XXXX.
Generally, you want to help him turn the focus inward now, to identify his own feelings; how he is feeling in every situation. You know he can identify the emotions of others', now have him find them in himself. Use whatever he talks about to identify his own feelings.
It doesn's sound as though he can't identify feelings -- but rather he has a disconnect to his own... have him verbalize what anyone might feel in his situation (often that is less threatening), and then reflect if he felt that way.
An example might be that he tells you about an argument between his wife and daughter. Ask him how he thinks his daughter felt about Mom taking away her phone (anytime anyone says anger, I tell them anger is a "blanket emotion" we use it to cover up other feelings; we can't feel anything else when we feel anger). Walk him through it; sometimes he might need the feelings identified for him and then ask how he would feel in that situation... simply to help him begin to relate to them.
Another exercise I use is to have my patient NAME the "thing" that covers or hides their emotions from themself (externalizing the block). After they name it, I have them write two letters: one FROM the block to them. The block explains how it helps him, (anything long standing is there for a reason; it wroked to solve a problem). Then have him write a letter back to the block, telling it that he no longer needs it to protect him from his own feelings; that the block was there to help him disconnect when he needed it, but it's done its job and now is no longer needed.
He may begin to tell you why he shut down emotionally to begin with. If not, keep it in the back of your head to have him go there -- but don't lead him to it -- let him find it. It will help if he can see this block as a protector of the feelings he didn't want to feel: why didn't he want to feel them? They were too painful. Why? How was he being hurt? Did Dad want him to be tough? Did someone mock his feelings? Was he "oversensitive" as a child and was scorned for that... and so on.
Start there, and see how it goes... some people resist even these simple steps.. let me know how he responds and if he shuts down, feel free to email back -- we can go from there.
Remember to start with basics (behavior) if no behavioral intervention works, move to a 'feeling' level... if no feeling level intervention works, move to a more psychodynamic approach.
I hope this helps -- please feel free to write back with any questions, concerns or clarifications.
Nancy
Psychotherapist
ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years