Hi there,
Welcome to Just Answer.
I am sorry to know about the loss of your mother and the aftermath that has been tough on your family specially your father.
The fact that he has turned to alcohol as strong as he has never done before , this definitely warrants attention and this matter needs to be addressed with him with his full invovement and active participation. But as mentioned by you that he evades the truth , that just shows that still he has not been able to come to terms with the loss of your beloved mother and his bereavement has been converted to depression.
To fight the demons of depression and to avoid facing the fact of life where he misses your mother, he uses alcohol as a substitute which elevates his mood and makes him forget about the reality , even if that is for a temporary period.
Now, coming straight to the solution of the problem, i must tell you that we need to take care of not only his Alcohol dependence but also the Underlying Depression.
In order to do this , he needs to first attain complete abstinence from alcohol , which requires a lot of will and determination. So , first you and your brother should try to reason with him , by telling him that how much he means to both of you and that you need him more now than ever after loss of your mother and how it hurts to see him treading a path which leads only to destruction. But i know it for a fact that since he has now become physically dependent on alcohol, so no matter how much you plead him and also that irrespective of how much he himself wants to give up this habit , it would be difficult , But you should atleast be able to convince him to see a Psychiatrist who may put him on Disulfiram under strict observation .
Disulfiram is a very common drug used by doctors and psychiatrists alike to make dependent alcoholics to give up the habit , as this drug once taken, produces very uncomfortable side effects if alcohol is taken by the patient, and so to avoid the dreadful side effects the patient stays away from alcohol.
But please be cautious of Disulfiram and i strongly suggest you consult a Psychiatrist first , & get your father admitted in the rehabilitation center for 2-3 weeks , as this drug needs to be taken under supervision. Also your father could be treated for depression simultaneously as it is the root cause of his regular alcoholic binges.
Also , i would advice that, for your father's sake try to convince him to meet new people, as he has got a lot to live for and loneliness can itself make you depressed , so everyone needs a companion, and so does your father.
I hope everything works out well for your father and he kicks off his habit .
Regards...... XX. KAUSHIK
Psychiatry Resident
MD Psychiatry Senior Resident