Accepted Answer

Hi XXXXXX,

There is always hope if you are willing to put the effort into changing your behavior. The key here is that you will have to change your behavior regardless of your partner's response. She may be mistrusting and doubtful for quite some time, and from what you described above, that would not surprise me one bit. However, I am a firm believer that anyone can change their behavior if they truly want to change. You are never "just the way you are." You are always capable of changing. You will have to demonstrate change to your partner. Talking about change is well and good, but you must put change into action in order to save this relationship. However, I can tell that you have taken the kind of steps that demonstrate commitment. Your partner will need continuous reminders of your commitment to changing. Let her see you changing first...then her behavior will change. Go in with NO expectations...it will work out better that way. Do not expect anything from her...just be glad you have a chance to improve yourself and change the relationship. NEVER engage in aggressive behavior...there is no good excuse for physical violence. Treat your partner with kindness and love without preconditions. If you can do what I mentioned above, you will have a strong chance at getting your relationship back. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow. As a psychologist, I would encourage you to be completely honest and open about everything, so that the psychologist can help you better.

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Expert:	JR, M.A.
Pos. Feedback:	100.0 %
Accepts:
Answered:	11/24/2008

Mental Health Professi&onal

I have a master's degree in clinical psychology and am currently finishing my doctoral degree.