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Question

Hi, how can i address the underlying problems that make me egotistical and controlling?

Submitted: 364 days ago.
Category: Mental Health
Value: $18
Status: AWAITING CUSTOMER ACTION
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Optional Information

Age: 43; Male, United Kingdom

Already Tried:
Nothing as such, the whole problem is i keep loosing relationships as a consiquence of me being jelous, controling, hot tempered i think it has a connection if i am being truthful to not keeping friends i can be to overpowering.

Accepted Answer

It's great to hear that you're wanting to change these things, as someone who is truly egotistical and controlling often has trouble acknowledging that they need help.

 

I would suggest that you find a psychologist to meet with who can help you understand what it is that you're doing or bringing to relationships that is off-putting to your partners, and also what you might do differently. Managing jealousy and a tendency to be controlling can be difficult but a good therapist can help you find ways. Usually when people feel jealous and want to control a partner it suggests that they're actually feeling insecure in themselves (and what they have to offer another person) and about the strength of the relationship in general. Figuring out why you're feeling insecure, jealous, and angry is the first step; developing skills to manage these feelings and learning other ways to respond to them is the second part.

 

I hope this is helpful.

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Expert: Lively
Pos. Feedback: 100.0 %
Accepts: 
Answered: 11/24/2008

Psychologist

Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, 10 years experience working with individuals, couples, & families

363 days and 22 hours ago.

Reply

Hi again, well i was hopping for a few more reasons that it steams from not just the "go see someone" one i need some kind of ideas from you, well should i say - thats what i kind of hopping for.

Posted by Lively 363 days and 11 hours ago.

Answer

It would be impossible for me to tell you what causes you to feel jealous, controlling, and angry without knowing a lot more about you and your life to this point- that's why I suggested seeing a therapist who could really get to know and understand you. Good luck.

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