What it would take to convince your boyfriend to be more determined to spoil her rotten and for her health (if not his own) to please, please stop smoking in the same house, let alone room.
When it comes to the scream - as you suspect, it's very likely her alarm system upon seeing a strange bird (you) in her little family. The fact that your boyfriend is accepting and hopefully includes the both of you in interactions, should help her come to accept you. It's helpful if you keep your own interactions with her pleasant and give her some treats and toys now and then. She needs to be reassured that you aren't there to displace her, but to join the family unit.
These are amazingly smart birds. The most success will come from your being patient, tolerant and no matter what - never, ever acting out of human anger or jealousy (that's easier said than done sometimes).
Now for the lecture on the dangers of cigarette smoke around a bird. Avians do not have a respiratory system like humans or any other mammal. Each breath they take fills their entire body with that air, not just lungs. This is part of what makes them able to fly (along with hollow bones and exquisitely perfect aerodynamic design). So the poor bird isn't just inhaling a puff of smoke like he does and exhaling it, it's filling her entire body with carcinogens (cancer causing agents) that won't clear (birds can't cough).
This poor bird has a hugely increased chance of system-wide cancer in a relatively short period of time.
Together with this, smoke reduces the amount of oxygen in the air. Again, birds are more sensitive to such reductions given their respiratory systems and size.
There's very little worse than hearing from a family who is struggling to keep their companion allive, thousands of dollars into treatment for all the things that happen from smoking and they insist how they've done it for years 'without a problem'.
What they learn is that the problem has been building for years, sight unseen. When it finally becomes obvious it's a horrific situation.
By the way, smoking under a stove exhaust fan, blowing it out an open window or even sitting the bathroom with the door shut isn't much of a help. Just because we can't see the smoke doesn't mean the toxicities aren't still in the air (they are).
Do you think this is enough to convince him to stop?
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Animal Rescue&Care Org Owner; Animal Care author; Animal Behavior Consults.;Cert. Avian Specialist;