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Hello, my name is***** am a licensed veterinarian and I will try and help you as best as I can.
I am sorry to hear you are having this problem.
I will need a bit more information from you:
How long has this problem been going on?
Have you tried any medications for anxiety yet: trazodone, alprazolam, clomicalm, fluoxetine?
Tramadol and benadryl won't help with anxiety, they may make her drowsy, but won't do anything for the feeling of anxiety. Have you tried any supplements or calming pheromones or anything else yet?