I'm sorry to hear you are having all these problems. Whatever breeds have gone into your puppy's make-up, we can be certain there is a high-drive herding breed in her. Such dogs are very different from other dogs you may have owned, and are a challenge. I'm glad to hear you are participating in herding because that will be very good for her. Besides being high drive, your dog may have come from an unfortunate background. Even though she was probably not abused, she most likely was not socialized as a puppy. Such dogs often can have problems with relationships. Your dog's excitement at seeing her doggy friends and people other than you is that they are different, while you are there most of the time, so you're not as exciting. She clearly loves you, but may not ever show it in the way you hope for. I have a dog like this, too, so I understand the frustration. She is very affectionate to almost anyone but me, yet she wants to be in the same room I am in, and be close to me. After I was int he hospital for a week and she was away from me, she made her real feelings clear. For two days after I came home, she was constantly trying to be in my lap, snuggling, etc. The person who cared for her told me she was constantly looking out the windows and watching the door while I was gone. So, I know she loves me, but will not necessarily be affectionate. Sometimes we just have to accept their personalities as they are.
As for the disobedience and wildness, at 10 months, she is a teenager. We know how rebellious human teens are. I know you've dealt with this before, but in a high-drive dog like this, it will be much more difficult. Until she matures, it si best not to give commands unless you are able to enforce them. For example, don't ask her to come when at the dog park and she can run off, but work on the recall at home with a long line on her.
Positive training methods are best. Recently the whole 'alpha' theory we've relied on for so long has been discredited. It was based on a single group of captive wolves who didn't even know each other. Biologists have since discovered that such a dynamic doesn't exist in wild wolf packs. There is much more cooperation and nurturing. However, positive training doesn't have to mean treats are the reward. some dogs work better for a game. For example, call her to you, and when she comes, play a game of tug with her if she likes that. If you attend an agility trial, you'll see that such games are used with the high-drive dogs very often. Another choice is a favorite toy that only is available during training sessions as a reward.
For a dog like yours, I recommend clicker training as a way to get her to focus her attention on you.You may have used a clicker before, but if not, they are sold in pet stores. The clicker makes a noise when you squeeze it, and you use that sound to let the dog know that she's about to get a reward. The first step in clicker training is called "loading the clicker." You'll need to have a reward. Most trainers have a handful of tiny treats - about pea sized, but you may want to use a toy or special game instead. Without asking the dog to do anything, click and give her a treat. You repeat this until he realizes the click means a treat. some dogs will learn this in one session of about 15 clicks, while others take several sessions. Treats tend to get a quicker result than other rewards, and in this case, it won't matter if your dog becomes excited. Later you can switch to some other reward.
Once she knows what the clicker means, you use the clicker and rewards to teach her things. At first, you don't give any commands, but wait for the dog to do what you want. Sit is a good one to start with. Without saying "sit," wait for her to sit. The instant she does, click and reward. After she does this a few times, start saying "sit" just as she begins to sit. Soon, you'll be able to say "sit,", and she will. You can continue with a variety of common commands, such as come, down, shake hands, etc. At some point, your dog will start to do what is called "offering behaviors." that is, she'll be so excited about the clicker and rewards that she'll try all sorts of things to get you to click and reward. Here’s a site where you can read more about positive dog training methods:http://www.positivedogtraining.org/
Here is a link to an excellent book on the subject:http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Training-Howell-reference-ebook/dp/B001C30IGK/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2
The destructive behavior in the house when you are gone could be the result of adolescent rebellion, but I am more concerned that it is separation anxiety. You won't be able to take the dog with you everywhere throughout her life, so you need to deal with this. I recommend crate-training so she can be left in a crate. If you want more information on crate-training or dealing with separation anxiety, just let me know (there would be no additional charge).
In summary, I suggest accepting your dog's personality as it is, continue to herd as often as possible, start clicker training, don't give commands when she is in a position to ignore them, try rewards other than food, crate train her, and give her some time to grow up. When she is old enough, agility training would be an excellent idea.
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