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Terri, Feline Healthcare Expert
Category: Cat
Satisfied Customers: 31937
Experience:  Expert in feline health and behavior. 20 years experience with cats.
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I have 3 cats 1 kitten female 3 months persian not spayed yet..has

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I have 3 cats 1 kitten female 3 months persian not spayed yet..has been in the house for 2 weeks.... 1 kitten male 6 months rag/himmie neutered and 1 cat male neutered just over a year old himmie. the middle cat rag/ himmie won't stop rough playing, biting there spine and neck, constantly stalking them even when there are play or feeding opportunities.....he just keeps this up with the other 2 cats who get along rather well.We have used water bottles, time outs..... Is he being normal? He is a lot bigger than the kitten is this the alpha sorting I have heard about? We are at our wits end with all of this.....if you need anymore clarification I am [email protected]....

Thank you,

Hi Mark,

I am sorry you are having trouble with Teddy.

How long do you have him?

what do the other cats do when he annoys them?



Customer: replied 3 years ago.


We have had Teddy since he was 8 weeks old. Dakota, the 8 lb. Himalayan will try to ignore it or swat at Teddy but then Teddy will always continue to escalate until Dakota is on his back trying unsuccessfully to escape & crying with Teddy biting his neck (I always break this up as Dakota is a flat faced Himalayan & can never over power Teddy & Teddy will never ever just leave him alone).


The Persian female kitten will try to put up a show of defensive body language (ears back, tail up & back arched). She has learned that running away will result in being bitten on the back & taken down immediately (so she doesn't run from Teddy anymore). Teddy of course, attacks anyway & she puts up a good fight until she is slammed to the floor on her back being bitten & knocked around). Needless to say they are not together much because of safety concerns for India's well being!


Teddy is obsessed with either cat when he is with them & just can't leave either one alone for more than a minute (if you're lucky).

Teddy is way beyond annoying to the other cats... he is obsessed when either cat is around and will give up play, food, & human attention to beat the other cats up.





Thanks so much for your very helpful reply.

I am working on a very detailed answer for you and will post it in a few minutes when I am finished.

Thanks for your patience,



It is normal for cats to establish a pack hierarchy where one member is dominant and the others followers BUT Teddy is taking this way beyond alpha.

He is actually bullying the other cats because he craves attention. .....even negative attention will do.

In the wild cats are loners, they do not hang out with other cats. They just warn them off.

This is the way cats act when they have to live together. They have a specific
language they use to communicate with each other. It consists of hissing, growls, swatting and neck grabbing.Usually, the momma kitty teaches the siblings how to get along. Teddy is a bit unknowing at playing nice with others.

You do not need a behaviorist for cats. They are really quite easy to

They do not rationalize, nor are they capable of in depth thought or

Everything they do is basic, logical (to them) and makes perfect sense.

In a cat hierarchy a strong kitty will always try to take over and assume the
head cat position. In addition, that is always subject to
changes if cat one senses weakness in cat two. Cats DO work things out in their
own way and they could care less what humans (or behaviorists) think. They only
respond to the energy of another animal be it feline, canine or human.
Punishment is useless and counterproductive because they simply do not
understand being hurt - they would just try to avoid the hurter in the future
but it would not teach them anything.(except fear). In Teddys case, he has no fear. He just persists in domineering behavior.

Cats do not follow a pack leader the way dogs do but they do sense their
human parents energy and respond accordingly - so if you are nervous, they will
be nervous. If you are stressed, they are stressed as well.

I am sure it is bothering you to have the other two treated this way.They cannot stand up to him so it is up to YOU to put him in his place.just don't allow it!

Get a throw pillow and gently push him back when he goes after the others. SAY NO! .....Get BACK.You can shake a can of coins or clap your hands to distract him.You can make a hissing noise and gently tap him on his head.

You also must tire him out. Schedule 3 20 minute play sessions with a feather wand or laser pointer to tire him out till he pants.

Forget about spraying water and time outs. Cats do not respond to such things.

You are the food person so YOU have the final authority .. what you say goes!

follow - hunt - eat - play - sleep as that is a cats normal schedule.

when he approaches the others calmly give him a treat. To a cat, food is love and they CAN be bribed.

get feliway plug-ins and a feliway collar to calm Teddy down:

Put rescue remedy in the water:

Please let me know how things go. If you have any questions along the way, I will be here for you.

Very warmly,


Terri and 2 other Cat Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Do you have anymore ideas on how to get him to play more? And whats the best food to bribe with?

Hi Mark

Yes I so have more ideas because I had a very similar situation with one of my cats.

First, the bribery. It has to be a food he really loves.Mine liked boiled ham cold cuts so I would give him pieces from my hand when he approached calmly and gently.

I got a muli level cat condo and put up shelves. Then I used a mouse toy on a pole. I would guide him up and down the shelves and the condo.


Think of a hyperactive child who calms right down when he is tired.

I also pushed him back with a pillow when he bullied my female.

He is 4 now and his behavior is wonderful. He gets along great with the other cats.

Your boy can too. He just needs some direction.


Please try these things and let me know what happens........

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