I am so sorry she is having trouble.
This type of over grooming is called feline alopecia. It is usually stress related. The cat licks to comfort herself, much like a baby uses a pacifier.
Read more here:
You are her security blanket. Even though she knows the neighbor, she became very worried when you were away.
Now that you are home, she feels better but visitors and children are still stressing her out.
Here are ways to help her cope:
Get a feliway plug-in. It goes into and outlet like glade and is very calming to cats:
Put a few drops of rescue remedy in her water.This will also calm her.
Feed her canned food with turkey or fresh turkey. It contains l-triptophan and is sleep inducing.
If she has cat condo, encourage her to climb up. It will raise her confidence.Cats that hide under things feel small and insecure.
She can take benedryl @ one mg per lb for calming and to relieve allergy symtoms. It will take several weeks for her fur to grow back once the licking stops.
Have visitors just ignore her. They should stay as calm and nonchalant as they can muster.
You can have a stranger or child sit quietly with a piece of cold cut. To a cat, food is love and they CAN be bribed. If she takes food from someone, she will warm up to them.
Please let me know how things go. If you hae any questions along the way, I will always be here for you.
Warmest best wishes,