I'm very sorry to hear about this.
In practice, defamation lawsuits against individuals are almost never wise to bring. They aren't claims that would typically be covered by any sort of insurance policy, which means that any judgment you win will need to be collected from the personal assets of the people you are suing. Most people don't have money to pay any judgment that would be worth your time to pursue in court, which means that you will likely go through all the time and expense of a lawsuit for nothing.
The other issue with defamation suits is that truth is an absolute defense. The negative publicity you've received so far is prompting your desire to sue, but a lawsuit will make that ten times worse as you will now how to prove in open court (part of the public record) that there aren't cow patties all over your yard, that you don't have cockroaches, etc. Read about the Streisand Effect for more information about how harmful and counterproductive a defamation suit can be.
The third issue is that defamation claims are limited to false statements of fact. Statements of opinion, no matter how undesirable, are always going to be protected. So, the statements about how you "hate kids," had a "dirty" house, and that you don't want people to have fun are probably not actionable no matter how untrue they may be. They are statements of opinion--matters that are subjective--and thus not actionable on any legal theory.
Now, this doesn't mean that you can't threaten a defamation suit. These people have little to gain from leaving up their review, and so a cease and desist letter from a local attorney may scare them into taking their review down. It will cost you about $300-500 to get a local attorney to write such a letter, and there is no guarantee it will produce results since you are essentially bluffing to scare them, but very often this sort of letter has the intended effect.
You can also contact the review site and explain that the review is false and should be removed. If you can prove to the review site that there are factual inaccuracies in the review, many such sites will force the poster to take it down or modify it.
These would typically be your remedies under the circumstances you have described.
If I can clarify anything at all for you, please do not hesitate to ask. It is my pleasure to assist you further if necessary....