I hear the frustration and a bit of chaos. I agree with you that it is sounding a bit unfair to restrict yours and not hers. BUT, there is a way to bring some order back....First a meeting between you and your wife needs to take place where you both get to put out your wants and desires around this and some compromise to take place. Once you are both clear and the boundaries, then a family meeting with everyone where the rules and boundaries are made clear with a clear understanding of the consequences if not followed. Let them know what is expected of them and if they don't clean up, take care of things, etc then the doors will be locked. To lock the doors without letting them know what you want and how you want it....is extreme and causes tension. Yes, you may have told them to clean up, etc, but I am talking a formal family meeting so that everyone is on the same page with a very clear picture of the rules and the consequences.
and there should also be other consequences for them not doing their chores or whatever...and doing them without being reminded.
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