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TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 5770
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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We just moved from the city to a more rural suburb. I worked

Customer Question

We just moved from the city to a more rural suburb. I worked at a very well paying job in the city, which helped paid healthcare, mortgage, etc..I was just offered a new job near my new home. However, the pay is 38% less and no real job security. I also cannot find a good preschool, however, there are good preschools right across teh street from y old job. I am wondering whether is it healthy for a 3 year old to travel by a train (he loves the train) each day with me to and from work (about an hour each way) and go to school there. We could do activities on the train, but just don't know if the daily travel and preschool is too much for him, considering the change to the new house he already has. Or, do I go with the more risky new job that pays less and will be more difficult to find a preschool. (haven't found one yet, that is good for him), and bills will be harder to pay. Then again, I would be establish connections for him near our new hime. I am so orn about what to do!
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your problem.
It can be hard to make a decision that affects not only your life experience, but your child's as well. However, it may help to remember that no matter what you decide, you are doing the best you can for you and your child. Just from your question, it is easy to tell that you care very much about your child's emotional experience and that is what ultimately makes your child happy- how much you care.
To make your decision, it also helps to write a list of the pros and cons of each side/decision. You have already written out some of these in your question so that helps. It is also important to rate each point so you know how important it is to you. For example, when you mention job security, it sounds very important to you. So that would rate higher than another pro or con.
How your child has reacted to your move will tell you a lot about whether or not it's ok to make more changes in his life. Because of personality, some children are not as affected by change as others. For example, an introverted child might struggle more with changes and meeting new people than an extroverted child might. Or a child that has been through a severe trauma might resist any change in their lives and view it negatively if they have to cope with many new changes at once. If your child is handling the changes as they come and isn't experiencing nightmares, bed wetting, tantrums or other unusual behavior because of the move, then it is most likely ok to take him on the train. Consider too that you will be there with him, which makes any change less of an impact on him.
I hope this has helped you,
Kate
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