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Cher
Cher, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 87
Experience:  Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2
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How to discipline children

Customer Question

How to discipline children
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Santo B replied 1 year ago.
Hello there. That is an extremely vague question. For me or anyone else to address it, we would need more information. How old is the child or children, are they 6? What is the behavior you are trying to correct? Some behavior is typical of childhood and adolescents, and of course there are different forms of punishment. Most parents use positive and negative reinforcement. Corporal punishment (hitting) is definitely NOT an effective tool in modifying a child's behavior and shouldn't be used. It is easier for a child to understand cause and effect.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
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Expert:  Santo B replied 1 year ago.
Before I commit to participating in a telephone call, could you provide me with a bit more information on what you are looking for. The information I provided was pretty basic, but I want to make sure that I can address your concerns. If not, I will let you know so you can open the question to someone else.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am 42 wife is 28 we have 4 kids. ages: 8,6,3,1.I got her pregnant 1 month after we dated so i married her. the 8 and 6 are girls she has from a previous marriage. the boys are 1 and 3 she is the mom for all 4. Our house is like the super nanny. Chaos everywhere. the 6 year old bullys my 3. example today he wanted to play and she told him yes but she cant talk. then the 8 year old wanted to come to play and then the 6 year old was talking and playing normal. What disapline should be used for bullying and in general.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I just want my home in order. My wife is stay at home mom. very lazy. I want a daily scheduale for food, activities, cleaning up, sleeping, bath time, etc. and how to discipline so they become responsible adults. Also I want my son to start being active instead of being on tv. what is a good way to get him to do that. he dosent really listen and the kids dont really listen unless my wife scares them.
Expert:  Santo B replied 1 year ago.
Hmm... With regard to punishment, it is always important to follow through when punishing children. If you tell them no tv for a week, the punishment must last a week. Many parents have poor follow through or follow up because parents are busy. In your case, you are all very busy. In terms of the bullying behavior, every time you see the behavior you must address it right there and then. If you don't, the punishment will not be effective.For the TV thing, it would probably be helpful if you engage him to do something more than that. Take him outside and throw a baseball, take him fishing, show him that you have an interest in doing things with him other than watching TV.This is something that you and your wife would have to work on together. You two must be a united force.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
but i never know what to say about the bullying. can you give me an example of what to say in a nice way. cause i get very mad.
Expert:  Santo B replied 1 year ago.
You can pull the 6 year old aside, privately, and tell her that it isn't nice to pick on or bully the younger child. The younger child looks up to her, and wants to be near her and play with her.Also, that if she continues to treat her sibling badly and doesn't play nice, that you will be forced to take away her favorite toy for a week.Bullying is about power and the struggle between the two kids. The 6 year old has more power and is asserting her power over the three year old. You might also want to talk to all the kids about playing nicely with all of them, and what nicely looks like.

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