Is there anything written about adult child caregivers being a bad idea for children if the focus of the hours are strictly for play?
When children end up being the focus as a result of parents hiring the babysitter to "devote her time strictly for playing games and providing FUN to the children, does this make the children feel entitlement or grandiose to have had the full time attention of the nanny? And the result would be that the nanny will have a harder time to obtain co-operation from the children?
I specifically refer to let's say an older childcare provider who is say 55 years old and getting on the floor with an 8 year old boy or girl and playing trains or with the childs toys. I feel those types of toys are for imaginative play without a caregiver. The caregiver could play games which require more than one person. WIth imaginative play, the child desires to imagine and play and create their own fantasy play and a caregiver is intrusive and there is more probability for a child to have interference with their fantasy play. Is there anything written about this?
The thing is that sometimes I get hired specifically to play, play, play and the parents want the sitter to play with the child. Sometimes the child wants to play something very imaginative like with swords or something very active where the child urges the caregiver to play a certain roll..... but the play acting might be a bit "childish"....
I am wondering if allowing the child to dictate the play and the level of fun gets too silly, then the child and caregiver become closer on the same level which decreases the respect toward the caregiver for when it comes time for rules or bedtime or something the child opposes. The child feels too comfortable and can easily challenge the caregiver.
For "certain children" usually a capricious child whom I only had the pleasure of caring for 4 times so far in the last 40 years, i noticed that they will defy or stir up conflict by being unco-operative.....
I am wondering if getting too close on their level or making myself too easy to access or I accommodate them to play their way at all times, too often they get frazzled when they need to collaborate. They overpower can make me lose my authority when it is time for them to comply and they won't.
Can you direct me to any links on why we lose authority?