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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3240
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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My daughter is 5 years old and is full of energy. The

Customer Question

My daughter is 5 years old and is full of energy. The problem is that she is sometimes quite hyper and lacks attention. She's so excited by whatever she's doing at the moment that she often doesn't listen. She's a poor eater. She is intelligent and sensitive.
She can focus on things like painting or playing with her dolls for up to an hour, but is just not interested in writing alphabets and numbers and reading. She is a great conversationalist and can analyze well. She's in a very good school that is teaching
her holistically and not forcing her to learn. I'm generally a calm person, but she gets me from 0 to 60 within seconds. I'm an older, single Mom, and live with my older parents. My question is - is there anything I can do more to help her with her lack of
focus and attention? How do I handle it when she doesn't listen or deliberately does things the opposite way to irritate us. She loves us all but can't help being contrary. Should I take her to a child therapist. Thanks Sandhya
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 2 years ago.
IT sounds to me like she does have focus and attention, but just not in the way that you see that she should. 5 year olds desire to please so I also don't believe she does things to irritate you...
It might help all involved to be a bit more free and let her be who she is and support her in all the areas that she does do well...there seems to be a big power struggle and both of you are all holding onto your positions very tightly.
All kids learn differently and it is better to know your child and teach and support in a way that you know they will thrive.
If you feel like her behavior is out of control and has no focus anywhere then sure you always have the option of taking her to a therapist.
I do think being more empathic to who she is rather than whom you want her to be could help a lot. embrace her ways. If she isn't listening then set up a reward system in a way that you know suits her style.
You can do this...yes it is hard but so much of our parenting is less about how and what we want things to be and more about seeing our kids for whm they are and working within that.