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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I spoke to Dr.Tom earlier this year about the problem I have

This answer was rated:

I spoke to Dr.Tom earlier this year about the problem I have with my deaf daughter who is 42. With Christmas approaching my eldest daughter and her family are coming to stay. (The third daughter is going to her parents-in-law). Melissa had texted a few weeks ago to ask what I was doing for Christmas because she wanted to give her two children the Christmas they deserve, and I replied I had no idea and would see what the others were doing. Melissa is now divorced and although we are in occasional friendly contact I keep out of her way. My eldest daughter and her husband want nothing to do with her and won’t come here (to the family home) if she is present at Christmas. Earlier they had helped to liaison between her and her ex-husband to enable him to get his belongings from her house etc. and she continued with her rude behaviour.
I have not replied to Melissa yet but I suggested that Suki and David go out on Boxing Day leaving their kids here and Melissa could come over with her kids for a short while and get their presents. The kids don’t have a problem with each other! In fact the older ones have been asking why they don’t see the younger ones any more. I don’t want to leave it until it is too late for Melissa to find somewhere else to go or do, but I don’t know what to say to her.
I have to tell you that my dear counsellor, who felt she should continue to see me after your advice and because of all that was going on (and a very dear, close friend became ill and I was looking after him but he has now died – all three daughters came to his Requiem but did not speak to Melissa) now has her own husband seriously ill so she can no longer see me.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that i can help with this situation.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

There is absolutely no way to please everyone.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You are the parent and you need not worry because you cannot do the impossible.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Make your plans, set a schedule for when everyone will be there and when they will not.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Minimize or eliminate overlapping times when your two incompatible daughters will be there and give them both the same schedule which will speak for itself.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

This is the best that you can do.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

This is a simple but effective solution and is probably the best and least problematic one.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If any of them cannot abide by this fair and compromising solution then they will have to be on their own, and you can tell them that they are denying their children the luxury of family relationships for their children, and this is a very severe penalty for innocent children.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You really have no other choice but to make the best plan, ask for peaceful cooperation, and not be pressured into taking sides or being involved in someone else's emotional problems.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Customer: replied 3 years ago.


Thank you.

Dear XXXXXette,

 

You are most welcome.

 

May God bless you and your family and bring them the gift of unity and forgiveness.

 

Amen.

Elliott

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