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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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What is the best way to tell my current children who are 9-13

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What is the best way to tell my current children who are 9-13 who the babys father is that I am pregnant with? They want to know who it is, I am no longer with the babys father and have not been since I got pregnant.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help you with this question.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Why are you hesitating?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You are pregnant, there is a father, and you did have this man in your life.

Customer:

I guess I dont know how to tell them or if I should before the baby is born or if I should wait till the baby is born etc

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that you must just tell them without making any excuses or giving an explanation. If they have any questions, just answer them honestly.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Tell them now. Otherwise it will appear that you are hiding something or are feeling something negative about who he is.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

They will know sooner or later, and it is best to include them as part of your family. They have a sibling coming and they must know

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Did they not like the baby's father?

Customer:

I don't think they have feelings either way.

Customer:

I just know our family life is complex enough and wanted to do right by them since they have had to deal with a divorce several years ago and a new step mom with their father etc.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I think that you are underestimating their ability to take this information in their stride and waiting makes it seem to be something that needs to be hidden, when it is not.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I suggest telling them now, nonchalantly, and be done with it.

Customer:

ok thank you. Any way to bring it up to them, or just plainly say the babys dad will be coming around more etc... and it is XXX.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Ask them if they are curious as to who the father of the baby is, and tell them the approximate date that you got pregnant. Let them see if they can guess. When they do you can tell him that they can expect to see XXX around more often.

Customer:

ok thank you

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Simple and clean. They will accept it.

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