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I believe that I can help with this parenting issue.
Your son is not adjusting to the class because his social development is not at the same level. At 30 months old, he is in a structured environment with children who are 4 to 28 months ahead of him and at a very different level of psychosocial development.
I believe it would be in his best interest to move him back to the other class where he was thriving before. I also believe that he will have better long-term development if he returns to the younger class.
You were starting to type something and I would be interested in hearing your comments if you wish.
You are handling the potty training correctly at home and there may be some indirect pressure at school for him to "perform" up to standards.
I believe that his self esteem will also be increased or lowered depending on which class he is in. Being at the bottom in the older class is already harming him and he will thrive again in the younger class.
That makes perfect sense to me... When he was with the younger children, he did well even though they too were at different developmental levels. But he had a lot more freedom to do what he wanted to do, and he also took on the role of 'helper' and guided the younger kids. The daycare brought it an 'expert' last week to do a full assessment of each child's fine motor, gross motor, and speech skills. I was shocked when they told me that he was below average on gross motor skills. Then I looked at their assessment and saw that he was 'unable' to jump off a bottom step. He's a complete monkey and jumps off from everything, so I think it's more likely that he refused to do so.
He may decide on his own that he wants to advance. The "experts" often don't look at the whole picture and do not see that he is not cooperating or rebelling because he is not happy.
This is a simple solution if the school authorities do not object. If they do, tell them that you will consider removinghim from the school because he is not thriving at the bottom of the barrel, but does well as the older child/helper. This gives him self-assurance and will help his development.
Hopefully, they will agree with you, particularly now that they have "decided" that he is a bit behind in his development because of their skewed assessment.
That makes sense to me. When he was in the younger class, he was also at a different development level. But he also had more freedom to do what he wanted to do, and he took on the role of ‘helper’ and directed the younger kids.
Last week, his daycare brought in an ‘expert’ who assessed each child’s gross motor, fine motor, and speech skills. I was shocked when this person told me that he was below average on gross motors skills. One of the ‘skills’ that he was ‘unable’ to do was jump off a bottom step… He’s a total monkey at home and jumps off everything. I know he’s capable of doing so, he just, for some reason, chose not to do it for them.
At this point, I need to decide what to do. Moving him another daycare where there’s a tighter age range is certainly an option. I also know that two of his 29-month old friends from the other classroom are supposed to move into his room in about a month. (According to some state guideline, they have to be 30 months to move). But I’m not sure that even being back with his friends will help. It may, however, force the daycare to re-insitute the older-two’s classroom.
The botXXXXX XXXXXne is that your son is not thriving in his current situation and it is up to the day-care to respond to his needs, and not for him to respond to their needs.
I suggest that you do what you feel is in his best interests. He needs to be secure and happy in order to benefit from this experience and that is the foremost priority.
Children adjust and mature at different rates and this is no indication of either their intelligence or their future performance.
It could be because you are using a phone, or because of a glitch in the system. I could switch to Q & A mode and you could see all better but then we would have to write back and forth and the JA computer would then put you in line where I would have to answer questions directed to me in order of which they came.
I'm going to schedule a meeting with the director and see what she proposes as a solution. I understand that it's a unusual situation that there's such a lack of kids between the ages of 30 and 36 months. But he shouldn't have to pay the price for that... If she can't fix it, I'm sure we can find someplace that can!
I will work with you in any way that best suits you.
I see what you are writing so this is working.
I think you've answered my questions. I knew something was really off-kilter this morning whent they told me that they require him to sit on the toilet. (He was doing really well at potty training there at first, but I suddenly noticed at home that he doesn't even want to try).
It is a reasonable request. You can tell her that you spoke with a licensed professional clinical counselor who works with children and my recommendation was that it would be in your son's best interest to be the older one in the group rather than the youngest.
Thanks for your advice!
I believe that you are totally on top of the situation and will make the best decision.
I shall keep him and all of your family in my prayers.