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Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this very overwhelming situation.
This is very concerning, since it shoes your son is undergoing a real mental health crisis.
I am also in contact with some counsolors in berkeley.
he seemed to be ever delirious under marijuana, or very chattered when he is not.
The behaviors you described, from his moos instability, the lack of functioning, feeling overwhelmed, having panic attacks, episodes where he was not coherent and did not appear to be in touch with reality, his talking about not staying here any longer and more, are each of them very concerning.
Your son appears to present serious mental health disorders, including panic disorder, psychotic delusions, depression, and other anxiety disorders. It is very serious, since he has been abusing and perhaps already developed addiction to cannabis and is actively using this drug.
I think his mental health, life integrity and well-being must be the number one priority here, for him to receive necessary treatment for "dual-diagnosis", to start his rehabilitation processes until he could be and feel able to continue with his academic plans.
Yes but he doesn't want us to come or come back to la, I asked him what we could do to help him, he said give me a week or more. I talk to his counselors she is going to see him monday.
It is essential to understand that it would be unrealistic to expect him to perform of even comply academically while under this serious mental health status.
Your support as parents, even more now that he is already an adult is to offer assertive support for him to be able to rehabilitate and get his life back. it seems obvious to me, based on what you described here, that he is not getting any better, and that he is not receiving the intensive psychotherapeutic treatment and close support he requires.
You do not know if it was the cannabis alone or any other drug which trigger or caused this mental health crisis once he has been under so much stress for this long, but what you know is that his concrete mood, mental status, functioning and everything else are under high risk and undermined, and that he's not receiving the treatment and support he needs while there.
Should we remove him from his surrounding, or being sure get the intensive psychoterapeutic treatment in berkel
Obviously he is not able to be insightful, clear enough and assertive about what he needs to do in order to take good care of himself, and that's why his support system and intensive and adequate professional assistance are essential.
no he had only marijuana in his blood and urine, but both my husband and i can not handle this drug well, so he must be like us very sensitive to thc
he was cruising the first year, he tried marjuana for the first time half of his first year.
Then I am afraid he may have developed a psychotic disorder triggered by the use-abuse of this drug. Some people could develop serious psychotic disorders even after one use of a drug if their systems have predispositions or vulnerabilities to suffer when they are present, and if there have been multiple stressors from school, life away from home and others, it just makes things much more complex for him.
For sure it would be unrealistic to believe he would rehabilitate from this mental health disorder and serious crisis while still using this or other drugs.
Cannabis s well know as a very addictive drug and one of its most common effects is the development of anxiety disorders, which matches what you have reported about your son. But the damage from it and from other potential factors is obviously bigger since he is not only showing overwheming anxiety but psychotic symptoms and serious self-neglect.
Your son requires intensive treatment, I'd say inpatient treatment, not mostly based on psychiatric drugs, but on intensive individual, group and family psychotherapy.
how should we proceed, should we tell him we are going to berkeley to pick him up or should we discuss or let him realize he can not function no more.?
He would have to go through a full detoxification program, then intensive inpatient program, after care program, then intensive outpatient, including regular individual psychotherapy and active participation in a support group.
the day he came out of the hospital he went to school but was very tired, then he followed his schedule as best as he could. this week he started well, but as soon as he took marijuana he missed thursday and friday.
in patient you mean he stay inside the hospital?
I think you should go there and do your best to promote his understanding and willingness to start taking good care of himself, and to start his rehabilitation process right away with necessary treatment and support.
Inpatient or residential treatment means that he stay in a clinic or hospital receiving intensive support for 1 to 4 weeks most of the time until he shows necessary stability and improvement in his mood, functioning, awareness and ability to take good care of himself, while working on his rehabilitation process.
If you choose for him not to get inpatient treatment, please look for an "intensive outpatient program" for dual-diagnosis.
He would stay with you but actively participate of individual, group and family therapy during the week, while receiving professional and family support.
It is going to be hard to let him give up his independence and life in Berkeley. He is a high achiever and it is so hard for him to admit that he can not do it. And that he will have miss the great opportunity and chance to go to berkeley.
The big limitation of inpatient treatment is that while it could allow a person to get stable, as soon as they are released, they use to continue with the dysfunctional patterns, that's why intensive outpatient must be there whether he got inpatient treatment before or not.
how should we approach him with assertive firm comment, or gentle and understanding direction?
You would have to choose between him pushing himself even more about his goal, and taking good care of his mental health and life. It is about priorities. I do not believe he would get any further academically without right treatment.
Being %100 honest and realistic about the seriousness of this situation, the priority around his rehabilitation for him to be able to be healthy and get back his ability and chances to work on everything else important in his life
thank you for your advice.