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I would like to help you with this issue.
I understand that as a mother you would do anything to keep your children safe.
This is very difficult for all of you, and of course, your first interest is your children's safety and well-being.
Of course they were shaken up by this affair.
I which way were they in danger, and do they blame both your mother and the stepfather?
In which way are they "toxic" grandparents.
The more I understand, of course, the better I can advise you.
Even if your mother was terribly wrong she has been in your life since its inception and has (or should have) a maternal bond to you and to your children, and this cannot be forgotten and ignored. She cannot break that bond and, even if she was very much in the wrong, she cannot let you all go forever.
It seems that you need to think about a reconciliation if she has learned some lessons and is able to restrain herself and Pop.
They were in danger, when she had them in the car along with my 11 year old nephew. And dropped my stepfather and brother off on the side of the road, and took off with them and started driving crazy.
Is there any light at the end of this tunnel, when frayed nerves and anger and begins to subside.
They blame both of them.
I see. Does she have bipolar disorder?
My mother blamed my brother for the whole thing and lied to my daughter.
It wasn't anyone but her. How was your brother involved?
And actually she has not been there since inception, the only reason she stayed in my life and I allowed it was for my grandmother who passed away 8 years ago.
I see. So you are not closely bonded to your mother.
We don't know if she is bi-polar for sure, although out of her 3 brothers, two of them seem to think she has tendancies but not 100% sure.
They all went to go shopping and dinner this particular day and my mother blamed my brother on causing her stress level to go up and also blamed my nephew. She asked the kids if she should go back and pick up their grandfather and uncle.
This kind of reckless behavior could be an indication but I do not know enough about her. The issue here is really the safety of your children.
No, I've tried she has dis-owned me more times then I can count. My grandmother was more my mother then she was
Well then, if she has disowned you, probably for petty reasons, then you are justified in keeping her away from you.
Yes I'm not worried about me anymore it's about my children. They do not want her around.
You cannot do anything about her going to the games but you can verbally keep them from approaching you and if they are stalking your children, then you can probably do something about it even if they haven't been physical.
But how do I do that if she is not listening to our wishes. My husband, the father of my children, has also told both of them to stay away.
I say that if you ignore them and avoid them rather than actively oppose those (which may just provoke them, or HER) then she will tire of this and give up.
Ok, that seems to be the answer.
You have to wait them out and ignore them completely. The will find other ways to use their malignant energy.
I just hate that she is effecting the kids and being so selfish in her ways once again, very frustrating.
Tell the children that she is not right in the head but that she will not hurt them and they have nothing to worry about. Call her poor grandma and let pity replace fear. Don't show them your anxiety over her for they will then learn to feel that same anxiety.
Just tell them that you all have to ignore her because she just is not right or trustworthy, but that she wo
won't hurt them, but just be a very annoying person.
Tell them that it is sad, but you cannot do anything about it except to stay away from her.
They will understand and not have fear. They will just know that she has to be avoided.
Ok, thank you.
You are so very welcome. I shall keep your family in my prayers.
Ellliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC