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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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how do I stop my 7 yr old from constantly pulling the neck

Customer Question

how do I stop my 7 yr old from constantly pulling the neck of this clothes and adjusting himself
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe I can help with this situation

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

May I ask in which manner is he adjusting himself?

Customer:

he constantly pulls the front /neck of his t shirt or whatever he is wearing at first I thought it was the label inside so I removed them all but it still continues. He also adjusts his shorts and touches himself when talking ..I don't even think he is aware that he's doing it. We correct him and ask him to fold his arms .... he even rolls his shoulders if he doesn't have a shirt on .

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Does he have troubling making eye contact others?

Customer:

No he's very confident

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Is there anything troubling him that might give him anxiety?

Customer:

He lives with me grand parents due to his mum not wanting him

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Does he anger easily?

Customer:

yes he can get angry easilyhe was very difficult at first and out of control ..however he has been in our home for over a year and is doing really well at school and socially but it hasn't been easy the habit started about 4 mths ago

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Was he abandoned by his mother, and did she abuse him in any way, and if so how?

Customer:

he still has contact with his mother in school holidays but she's not very committed( drugs) ..he has two sisters that still live with her so I'm sure he wonders why they do and he doesn't we have tried to explain that she hasn't been well.

Customer:

He has also witnessed domestic violence

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Does he ever hurt himself?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

On purpose

Customer:

no but he self punishes by putting himself in his room although that is getting less frequent

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

That is self-harm in an emotional sense. Was he punished this way? Was he ever punished by tying him up or making him wear tight clothes or binding him in some way or locking him up?

Customer:

not that I'm aware of

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

How about by being confined to his room?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

And why is he with you when his sisters are not?

Customer:

he has been under child protection and we were the safe house for him ... his mum just says she can't cope with him yet ! although we have no legal rights we support him financially and physically.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

How does he react just after visitation with him mum?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

his mum

Customer:

At first it was difficult he would be rude and angry with everyone however now he's much calmer still a little hyper he also asks to come back sooner from his visits but when we ask him if he's happy to be back he always says no he misses his mum. we are his fathers parents and although my son calls in frequently he does not take on the father roll .. We did not know Trent was born until he was 2yrs old

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He misses having a real mum. He misses the mother experience and that is what he craves when he comes back. In reality, he is not happy there because she still does not act as a nurturing mother.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He also does not have a father figure except, thankfully for his grandfather.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

How does he act in school? Is he hyper? Does he get along with the other children? With the teachers?

Customer:

We think of Trent as our own and he gets lots of cuddles and firm but fair discipline when its required. he really is thieving and the school he attends are aware of his tough start in life. He was on a management program because his social skills were very poor at first but he has just been taken of the program and is treated as any other child.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Did you say thieving?

Customer:

Thriving .. sorry He plays a lot of sport and has a group of kids that live on the street that always call for him to play so he's getting there its just the twitching I don't want him to be singled out for his constant adjusting.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Good. I thought you meant thriving but that is not what you had written. I'm glad to hear it. You are providing an excellent home and family for him.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Does he ever have verbal outbursts that are loud and sudden and may be rude?

Customer:

He does say things that are a little inappropriate at times but more than rude he buts into conversations . I always correct this

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

But he converses rather than has outbursts.

Customer:

Yes He does have loud out bursts when he's playing with other children if things are not going his way

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Are they momentary and short-lived?

Customer:

yes

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It is very possible that he has a condition known as Tourette's Syndrome.if they are rapid outbursts and sudden movements, rather than Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, which would also produce fidgeting and interrupting others and being hyperactive.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Tourette's is a form of a tic - a suddent, repetitive, nonrhythmic movement, or utterances that involve discrete muscle groups.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If it like this it may be Tourette's, or it could be ADHD if it it not. Tourette's is probably inherited rather than a behavior problem, if that is what it is.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It can be mild and can go away as well.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If that is what he has he can also learn to control it.

Customer:

so do we keep correcting

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Instead of correcting you should first have him looked at by a child psychologist who can make a face-to-face assessment.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He seems like a very well adjusted and well cared-for child.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

There is also a subset of OCD (obsessive compulsive behaviour) which is related to or similar to Tourette's and this is an anxiety disorder..

Customer:

ok ill get him checked out ...Thanks for you advise I just want to make sure we are doing the right thing.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Finally, he should be seen by an allergy specialist to see if he is reacting to the washing powder.as we;;/

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

well

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

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