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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7661
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I am a nearly stay at home mom of a 18 month (i do work but

Customer Question

I am a nearly stay at home mom of a 18 month (i do work but most time i stay at home). So I do see my girl for most time of the day.

My husband works, and either my girl sees him early in the morning, enjoy a milk time with him and then say goodbye, or she will see him at around 7:30 pm evening when he arrives home.

Night time dad is quite fully engaged with her, like he will eat with her, and sometimes take her for a night walk too.. just the two of them. She enjoys very much.

Saturdays and Sundays her dad is already giving most of the time for her already. We have family day usually on Saturdays, her dad holds her. And sunday we have church day and meeting with families and friends, and her dad is usually the one who holds her too.

It has been like around 3 months, that my girl is trying to express she misses her dad. When dad is around, she just wants her dad and rejects me. And there are times when she just has tears and says "misses papa".

And now for like 70% of the mornings, she wakes up crying, saying "pappa.... no need mamma".

Is there anything to worry about? Is she growing distress? I just want her to grow up happy and contended.
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 6 months ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Your husband has a very special touch with your daughter and you are fortunate to be with such a loving man.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

When your daughter cries for her father when he is no there, just gently reassure her and do some of the things that she likes to do - take walks play games, tell a story: do something with her and establish new routines that are just mom and daughter routines.

Customer:

That is a good insight!

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I am sure that you give her plenty of loving attention, but this girl requires even more from you until she grows out of this stage. She is such a young girl.

Customer:

Yes we don't have special mom and daughter specific datings and routines

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Well, I am sure that you will be changing that and you will see how she will grow on you as well.

Customer:

That is great insight!

Customer:

Actually I do readings and tray work with her everyday

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Make sure to always be kind, gentle, and softspoken with her. You probably already are. She will take to you as soon as you start some routines that she will look forward to.

Customer:

But maybe they are not special enough

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Put a bit more effort into them and make them absolutely unique and special between just mom and daughter.

Customer:

When her dad is around, she even wants the food preparation, milk preparation, diaper changes to be all done by him.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He can beg off some of these chore and tell her that mom will to it this time.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He must be your ally on this.

Customer:

Actually we have a maid in our house, and when there is only me and the maid, she just does exactly the same thing - she wants me

Customer:

And rejects the maid.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

That's a relief. :)

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It is good that she is not rejecting you. She just prefers daddy, but she still loves you.

Customer:

Actually I do scribbling, painting, tray work with her everyday already.. but maybe still not special enough

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Sometimes girls prefer dad and boys prefer om.

Customer:

yes i see. maybe i have to accept that

Customer:

Thanks for your insights really. I should try to think of a special thing with her then

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It sounds, however, that you have a wonderful and very unique and loving family.

Customer:

We are trying to be one. We work Montessori and positive parenting

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I am sure you will. You sound so kind and intellligent.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It sounds as if you are succeeding.

Customer:

She is growing gentle , it's just the issue I told you that I am a bit worried about.

Customer:

And is she still finding that her dad's time is not enough for her

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

This is not a great concern. It is just her preference at 18 months of age. She will grow out of it Please don't take if personally. It is not.

Customer:

??

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

At this current stage of her life (18 mo) this is her preference. It is not anything to worry about. She loves both of you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It is not personally directed AGAINST you. She prefers her daddy's style. That is fine.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Your relationship is always in flux.

Customer:

Thank you so much!

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I shall keep your inspirational family in my thoughts and in my prayers.

Customer:

Have a great day really!

Customer:

That is wonderful, prayers are a great help

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

And you too ! :)

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Always.

Customer:

Have a blessed and loving fruitful day. Thank you for your gentle replies.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7661
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

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