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Dear concerned parent,
Tristan is only five years old and is an intelligent and independent young boy.
When a new teacher enters the scene as a substitute, he or she must first establish authority with the children in a positive manner.
It seems that this teacher may have come on too strongly to your son who was being creative with his books, but not in the way that the teacher wanted.
She could have gone along with his playing and then when she established more rapport could have moved on to showing him how to read the books as well.
Ok. I did want to add that we just adopted a newborn, this all happened very quickly and we did not have much time to prepare him for the baby's arrival.
He is intelligent, creative, and does not like be ordered about by a stranger.
NOW, you have gotten to the core of the matter. THIS is the essential reason for his acting out.
He feels abandoned and somewhat betrayed, and no words can make up for the jealousy and resentment that he feels by the arrival of the new baby, without preparation.
His reaction is quite normal and you must make an extraordinary effort to make him feel secure again.
I have a book or two in my file that would help immensely.
Please give me a few moments.
thank you so much!
There is a great DVD for children, first of all:
and a lovely book
These two resources will go a long way.
Do not punish Tristan. He needs EXTRA love and support.
Explain to his teacher the situation and that you have now become aware of the problem and are talking positive steps to reinforce his position as the number one child and beloved son.
He WILL need an understanding teacher as well. The sub probably went beyond her boundaries and over-reacted to him, while Tristan is also upset, confused, and feels a bit lost now.
You shall overcome this by giving him plenty of attention and directing him into the role of big brother (but do it gently and slowly and make him your ally).
I wish you great success and shall keep you in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Thank you! This makes me feel so much better. We were starting to question ourselves as parents. We'll get these books right away
That sounds soooo wonderful. You are exceptional parents for you have given a life and home to an abandoned child. May God bless your family.
Thank you again :)