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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I am at my wits end with my 5 year old who just started kindergarten

This answer was rated:

I am at my wits end with my 5 year old who just started kindergarten last month. Here is a note I received from his teacher today.

Tristan choose this morning to exhibit disrespectful behavior to a substitute we had in our room while I was in a district meeting. Our sub was talking to Tristan about the importance of practicing reading skills after Tristan was choosing to play with his independent reading books instead of read them. Tristan covered his ears with his hands, began making “blah, blah, blah” noises, and twisting his arms back and forth.

His other disruptive behaviors such as spitting noises and hitting others continued as well.


Please help

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear concerned parent,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Tristan is only five years old and is an intelligent and independent young boy.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

When a new teacher enters the scene as a substitute, he or she must first establish authority with the children in a positive manner.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It seems that this teacher may have come on too strongly to your son who was being creative with his books, but not in the way that the teacher wanted.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

She could have gone along with his playing and then when she established more rapport could have moved on to showing him how to read the books as well.

Customer:

Ok. I did want to add that we just adopted a newborn, this all happened very quickly and we did not have much time to prepare him for the baby's arrival.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He is intelligent, creative, and does not like be ordered about by a stranger.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

NOW, you have gotten to the core of the matter. THIS is the essential reason for his acting out.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He feels abandoned and somewhat betrayed, and no words can make up for the jealousy and resentment that he feels by the arrival of the new baby, without preparation.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

His reaction is quite normal and you must make an extraordinary effort to make him feel secure again.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I have a book or two in my file that would help immensely.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Please give me a few moments.

Customer:

thank you so much!

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

There is a great DVD for children, first of all:

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


and a lovely book

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


These two resources will go a long way.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do not punish Tristan. He needs EXTRA love and support.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Explain to his teacher the situation and that you have now become aware of the problem and are talking positive steps to reinforce his position as the number one child and beloved son.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He WILL need an understanding teacher as well. The sub probably went beyond her boundaries and over-reacted to him, while Tristan is also upset, confused, and feels a bit lost now.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You shall overcome this by giving him plenty of attention and directing him into the role of big brother (but do it gently and slowly and make him your ally).

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I wish you great success and shall keep you in my prayers.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Customer:

Thank you! This makes me feel so much better. We were starting to question ourselves as parents. We'll get these books right away

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

That sounds soooo wonderful. You are exceptional parents for you have given a life and home to an abandoned child. May God bless your family.

Customer:

Thank you again :)

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 3 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

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