Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help with this situation.
I know that you are very distraught by his very open sexual behavior.
Sadly, this is much too commonplace because of the way sex is promoted at every turn on the media, and on the internet.
Sometimes being tough with your children is difficult. You can still set rules but spend more quality time with him. Even if you forbid TV or restrict the internet, he will hear it all and learn it all from his peers.
Many 14 year old children are already sexually active.
It will be the same from almost one school to another unless you send him to supervised Christian school or other conservative private school.
Unfortunately, the cat is already out of the bag and he cannot un-learn what he knows or has possibly experienced.
Do your best to explain to him that although he is physically old enough for sex and that even if other children are experimenting with it, he can no longer take those risks of pregnancy and getting a bad disease.
The best approach is, while restricting access to porn sites on the computer and monitoring his video and TV choices, spent more quality time with him on outings, sports, day trips, etc.
If you go on outings with your friends (fishing, hiking, etc), include him.
Don't punish him. DIstract him and give him lots of love.
He will not hate you.
I wish you great success and shall keep you in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
I was hoping for a woman's point of view since his real mom is absent and his step mom ......well ... is his step mom. He is the only boy I have and I have plenty of experience raising girls. My mom and the women in my life like my sisters who have boys, would be the most vocal on a 14 yro boys behavior when it comes to girls and sex. I felt the answer from Elliot had some religious connotations and felt less like a doctors answer. I would give this answer a positive rating anyway because I do need to spend more time with him. Knowing a woman's perspective would be helpful but I'm unemployed and Im not spending another $22