after you reply back I'll click excellent. I had to laugh while reading your answer. It's such a difficult situation and it just makes your answer, which fits right in with reality, funny.
I asked a psychologist friend what she thought (she doesn't know the kid -- now 18, today).
the additional backstory is that she attempted suicide recently after texting 3x, 2 months apart, thoughts of it. Her attempt was holding her breath under water. She's in counseling.
She's a smart kid:
Parents: no, you can't go to a rave.
Kid: look, dad, you and I always tell each other the truth. So...I can tell you I'm going, and go, or do what all my friends do and lie to their parents. Either way, I'm going.
What the heck do you do with that? :-)
Parents: Don't drive there.
Kid: you know how many of my friends get in accidents. I don't get in accidents.
Now: given the "attempts" she's made, it's more concerning, but on the other hand, taking away a car depresses her further and is incredibly inconvenient to any working schedule. Today the suggestion was made to for them to honestly say: You have us over a barrell -- if we upset you, you threaten to do something. But we're also in the middle of a divorce, and your attempt was public as it is. WTF? You have to deal with no pot at least until divorce is final and then discuss at that point"
of course, she could still say "no,"
Parents are in a bind if they let her and a bind if they don't (risk of depression for her and incredible inconvenience on scheduling for everyone). And she'll probably do more drugs. ugh.