Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help.
You must feel a great deal of distress about this, but I believe that your son will overcome this.
I believe that he has been traumatized by more or less losing his father and paternal grandparents as a central force in his life.
He feels abandoned and rejected, and he now fears being separated from you, being taken away or somehow losing you. This fear is deep inside of him and when he is separated from you or is with others of authority, such as the tutor or the coaches, he has excessive worry or even feelings of being kidnapped.
These feeling that he has expressed to you are very typical of a childhood disorder called Separation Anxiety Disorder.
He also has a reading disorder but this may be entirely due to to his separation anxiety.
I would like to recommend a book that will be very helpful to both of you (rather than to just tell you to take him to a child psychologist).
This book will guide you to guide him and will reassure you and give you knowledge and expertise in helping him:
I also have a book for your son. You can read it to him and you can practice reading it with him as he learns the lessons that will reassure him.
This book is very effective with children such as you son and I believe these two books alone will make a big difference in his life.
Once he feels more secure he will improve and I believe that his reading skills will improve.
I also recommend these books to help him at home with reading skills:
I hope this helps and I shall keep you in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, I have received a response from you previously regarding a separate issue, and it seemed to be quite insightful and helpful, however I think on this issue you are a little off track. Here's why; Ian does not display any fear of people in general, nor of being kidnapped. He is very outgoing and makes friends easily, with adults or children. He is able to hold conversations with adults especially, interacting more like he is 18 yrs old, able to hold his own and express ideas. While it's true that he must truly feel he's missing out by not having an involved father, I don't believe our current issue with not wanting to cooperate with the tutor, has anything to do with lack of that side of the grandparents, nor with being taken from his mother. That being said, and with your experience; can you offer any other reason why a young child would feel angry or maybe even shame about going to a tutor. One other piece of info -- he has asked me specifically not to tell anyone he is going to a tutor, as if this is somehow making him feel deficient.